Ask Steve the Mullet Man ANYTHING! Even insanely perverted questions and we will post them on the site totally anonymously. Questions

How old are you?
The Mullet is about 35 years old

How many episodes of Gumby have you seen in your entire life?
I have probally seen hundreds of episodes of Gumby. I probally have forgoten most of them due to the fact that chasing girls was more enjoyable.

Are you single?
The mullet man has many ladies and can help you too. Fire away all the advise you will need is behind this Mullet…

Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel?
You have to go with Jessica Alba. The rear end is one of the best ever created.

how many times have you had sex with andy?
Although behind that green polo Andy wears I am sure there are breasts. The Mullet Man doesn’t swing that way.

When you get your hair cut, does the barber vomit the entire time or only at the end?
Being that this hair cut is vintage few are ceritfied to touch it. Therefore I must travel to use the same barber that Joe Dirt does. Somehow the Mullet Man is thinking the guy who asked this question must have some sort of bald spot in the back of his head that shines even during eclipse’s.

Is it true that when your mullet blows in the wind everything around you goes into slow motion?
I think it is more like the entire world stops to admire it. I get alot of stalkers.

Do your legs ever get tired of stepping over women who have laid themselves at your feet after seeing your mullet?
Most of the time I have to long jump them. So if I land wrong my legs do get sore.

does you mullet hair ever get tangled up in your back hair like velcro? If so, how do you remedy this so you don’t hurt yourself when headbanging to Poison?
The Mullet Man knows that the ladies are not into the back hair. So the Mullet Man doesn’t have any. But once I did get the Mullet stuck in some ball hair. The remedy was to shave my nuts. The Mullet must stay.

Every dork with a mullet has a mustang do you?
Honestly most Mullet dorks drive Jeeps. The price range of a Mustang is just alittle to high for them.

how many whales, and you can cut them in pieces, can you fit into you house?
I am really not into big Girls. Too much weight in my place might make a cinderblock crack and bring the house down. But somewhere around 3.

Is it true that you can get pregnant by swimming in a pool? My wife said that the black child that she had was because she got pregnant in the pool. We are both white. Thanks in advance.
Remember the Mullet Man is no doctor. I do not believe you can get a girl pregnant in a pool. If this were true there would be alot of little Mullets around. I can inflate the baby pool. You could send her over and I would be glad to see if this myth is true. It should only take about a week.

If your mullet reaches a speed of 88 mph, is it capable of time travel?
Since I was born with this Mullet and the Mullet is 35yrs old. The Mullet Man doesn’t need to reach 88mph to time travel (but it may be faster). The Mullet Man just takes one look at the Mullet and it takes The Mullet Man back in time. The Mullet Man can here Motley Crue playing now. Time to head bang. The Mullet Man will time travel more often now, ahhhhh!

How do you avoid getting a raging erection when you see the reflection of your mullet when your riding in the backseat of your manfriend’s motorcycle?
First off the guestion must have came from a guy who thought the Mullet Man lived in Edgewater Md. Although there are probally alot of impersonators the mullet man doesn’t have a man friend.

Why does your mullet have a hispanic accent?
This Mullet was born in the USA.

Is your mullet collecting unemployment? Because it is not working for you?
The Mullet Man only gets paid for services rendered. I am sorry to say I will not be going there to say hi to your dad. I know he has been in line for awhile.

Mullet Man, I showed my 10 year old sister the mullet I have and now we have sex a lot (I\’m 13) how do you fight the girls off? the only thing I can seem to do is beat off?
My advise is if you have sex with your sister you need to move to Edgewater Maryland. It is accepted there. Start taking some type of penis enlargement pill so that your member will grow and dick whip them. That way they don’t leave unsatisfyed.

Can I also grow a bitchin mullet?
For $14.95 you can. This information would have been out sooner if BIlly Mayes hadn’t passed. He really screwed me.

Last weekend I had a fishing accident and now my genitals are cut up… well I started to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time and she had her period in the middle of it so along with the blood from her hymn breaking was also period blood… along with my bleeding from my cut up genitals… do you think I have aids now?
The chance of getting aids from a ball bleed and hymen bust are rare. Uless your girl has been known to suck dick for crack cocaine. In the case you should go to the clinic. Just bring my picture and you are sure to get the group rate discount.

Mullet Man, I have started collecting elementary school yearbooks featuring pictures of famous actresses from the porn industry. Do you think that it is improper to “enjoy” these pictures? Thanks, Hester
Completely leagal in Kentucky. Move there.

Do you enjoy chicken more than black people?
Yes it’s true. I eat more chicken than Black People. The more breading the better.

Ever wanted to touch Obama’s dick?

how long does it fucking take to answer a question you dumb red neck?
How long does it take you to ask an Intelligent question douche bag?

You seem to not have responded to any questions recently. Is it that you’re above dula now? or has your 15 minutes of fame run out and nobody wants to ask you anything anymore?
I am not of Dula. Dula is above you peon.

Is there an epic vibe that comes off your mullet?
Only when touched by beautiful young women.

will you touch my boobs and ass
It may be possible. But first you must pass a screening to see if you qualify. If you do I will also touch your boobs and ass with the Mullet.

Libertarians such as Jon Arthur, Host Of Jon Arthur Live! 
I am more intrested in Librarians

What is your grade point adverage?
The Mullet Man is way past grade pt adverages. But failed spelling if that helps.
Is the Mullet Man on Strike?
The Mullet Man is not really on Strike but the Owners of this website did promise the Mullett Man a new copy of Borderlands for his birthday and the Mullett Man has yet to recieve it.
are you related to lady gaga?
Probally to her brown eye.

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