Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffOld Timey Baseball With ConanDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.3K views Jan 2010Conan visits an 1864-style baseball game, teasing players and spectators with old-fashioned slang before joining in as the teams play. Show transcript0:00Hi, I'm at Old Bethpage Village Restoration, where they play old time baseball, 1864 rules, 1864 costumes.0:10Some say a waste of time, others say an incredible waste of time.0:15Let's check it out.0:25This is Gary Monty. Gary, you are the umpire.0:27Actually referee in 1864.0:29There's some terms that everyone uses here,0:31Mm-hmm.0:32which are appropriate to 1864. Do you mind if we review these right now?0:35Sure.0:36Um, first of all, a pitcher is called a hurler. Fans are cranks, rooters, birds, and bugs.0:43That's correct.0:44You have a pencil behind your ear. What's0:45Yes.0:45that for?0:46Well, I have to keep score. I have to keep score during the game.0:48So this is an authentic 1860s pencil?0:51Yes.0:51What do you write the score on?0:52I have a, a number of things.0:56Wait, what, can I see what's in here?0:57Sure, no, you want to see that.1:00Oh my God. Yeah, this is an authentic Nature Valley granola bar.1:05What are your professions? What do you think you did in 1864?1:08Probably a farmer.1:09You were a farmer?1:10Yeah.1:10You?1:11Same here.1:11You were a farmer as well?1:12Yes. I'm a farmer.1:13You're a farmer?1:14I'm a farmer.1:15You're a farmer as well?1:16Yes.1:16Everyone's going with this farmer thing. No one ever says I'm a kickboxer or anything.1:26If you think the people playing 1864 baseball are intense, check out the people watching it.1:34Cuckoo, cuckoo.1:36You're the groupies. It's 1864, and you're out looking for some, uh, some man action.1:41Is that the idea?1:42They would, the men would invite us to come watch them play.1:45Okay, and, uh, are there certain players that you have, who, who do you have the crushes on?1:49Who do you guys like? Come on, who do you like?1:51Um, the man that was playing shortstop next to me before played, made a lot of great catches.1:55Okay, you like him? What about you? Do you have a crush on anybody?1:57No, sir.1:58No, sir. Okay, you're very shy. It's 1864, and I'm being very forward, which would make you shy.2:03Plus, I have cameras which don't even exist yet.2:08What does your father do here in the town in 1864?2:10He's a farmer.2:11Everyone's a farmer. That's what I keep hearing, is farmer, farmer, farmer.2:14Is anyone working advertising or anything? What does your dad do in the town?2:17He's a tailor.2:18Oh, oh, there you go, he's a tailor. He makes clothes for the farmer.2:21What about you?2:22He's a farmer.2:24Farmer? And your father?2:25My father's passed.2:33Sorry. That's a terrible.2:39Let me ask you this. It's 1864, and I come walking into the town.2:44Good looking fellow, 6 foot 4, shock of red hair. Don't tell me you ladies wouldn't be kind of interested, right?2:52I might be.2:53And you?2:54Absolutely.2:55And you?2:56You are the tallest man I've seen in a while.2:58And then finally, you.3:01I'm married.3:02You're married? What's, what's the guy, what's he do?3:06He's fighting.3:07He's fighting? Oh, he's fighting in the Civil War for the North?3:11Yeah, indeed.3:12Well, I hope he returns home safely, but if he doesn't, if he gets killed, would you be interested then?3:20Yes, sir.3:21Okay, let's just hope that guy gets blowed up real.3:26You've come to see the game?3:27Yes.3:28Why aren't you off at war?3:29I'm flat-footed.3:31Yeah, that's really made a difference when they needed to look.3:33They were shooting people out of cannons in 1864. They didn't care if they were flat-footed.3:38That's how they killed people, is they'd throw other people at them.3:41You seem peevish right now. I hope I have not caused you vexation or any unpleasant cogitations.3:50I wish to, where does it say, get it on?3:57I don't see that there. Still waiting for your husband to come back from the Civil War?4:01You know that guy ain't coming back.4:04That guy's not coming back. I saw him, actually, he's... Yeah.4:09Where were you?4:10I was down, I was in the Civil War, and I was fighting, and I saw him.4:14He was acting very cowardly.4:17He he said, we're all going to get killed, let's get out of here.4:20And then he made out with a guy. This is all true stuff, so I wouldn't wait around for him.4:24That guy's swings both ways. I'm sorry, that gentleman likes to ply his seed in the other melon patch.4:47Hurl your best apple, hurler.4:52If that was any lower, I'd have to dig to Hades itself to find the apple.4:59Why not? Make a trench, then the ball would be as low as you seem to wish it to be.5:07That was no strike.5:21One more of those and you'll regret it, see?5:26What ho? What is that demonry?5:30Some sort of iron burn. Everyone free.5:36Despicable. Deplorable. Some of the worst apple hurling and stick mashing I've seen.5:44You hit like a bunch of old men that fought in the Spanish-American War, which hasn't even been fought yet.5:53I'd like to take the whole lot of you and thrash you with this hand, then bash you with this hand, then take both hands and give you a massage just to loosen you up.6:02Now, let's get back out there and show that other team why our life expectancy is only 39 years.6:14Thanks for the cool breeze.6:17It was most cooling on my mustache. Please cool me again.6:23You, Irish, back a few.6:27Corn cob, more to the left.6:31Palsy, more to the right.6:34Rickets, down close.6:38Get it, get it, you fool! Thy Lord is holy, someone catch that spear!6:42You ass! What's wrong with you?6:47This one's for you, now.6:58You ass!7:19I like my job.
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