2K views Mar 2010
A fake news broadcast stretches a vague neighborhood incident into a major story with witnesses, an expert, viewer emails, safety tips, and a live reporter.
0:05 And now, in a desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming, here's some bullshit that happened somewhere today. 0:11 We've got some footage here of the bullshit, which began just after 3 o'clock this afternoon, when residents in this neighborhood were shocked to see this fairly common thing happening. 0:21 An attractive witness described the event in breathless terms. 0:25 I went to my window, and I was like, whoa, there's some bullshit happening. 0:28 That happened right over there. I'm an older man, so you can trust what I say. 0:32 Authorities in special uniforms rushed to the scene to stand around while our cameras filmed them. 0:36 Our reporter Keith Collins joins us now live from the scene of the bullshit through the use of expensive technology. 0:42 Good to be with you again, Keith. We have a colorful graphic here that shows instances of bullshit like this are on the rise, is that right? 0:48 Yes, although why is unclear. Some say it's because of one fucking reason, others say it's because of some other fucking. 0:55 I talked to this random expert on the subject who told me this thing you're about to hear him say right after he points at a piece of paper. 1:01 I spent my entire life attending the nation's most prestigious schools to talk about bullshit like this. 1:06 I'm really just happy to be on TV. 1:08 Now let's see if we can drag this out a little longer by showing emails written by some of our viewers. 1:12 I once saw some stuff kind of like the shit you're talking about happen. 1:16 I have nothing more to add. Another person says, I am angry that things like this happen. 1:22 I get mad about every bullshit thing I see. So obviously a lot of opinions there to make this story seem somewhat meaningful. 1:28 Oh, absolutely, Glenn. This bullshit has some broader implications. 1:32 Here's a list of tips on how to avoid bullshit happening to you. 1:35 And here's some footage of Congress. 1:37 Yes, I see that. 1:38 Well, thank you, Keith. Uh, let us know if there are any updates on this bullshit story from there. 1:42 There's no way there will be. 1:44 Very good. We'll check back with you in an hour anyway. 1:46 I'm just some fucking guy. 1:47 When we return, we'll look at live footage of a car chase taken from a helicopter and free associate about what's going on. 
