Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffGoogle Lets Users Opt Out By Moving To Remote VillageDula TVFunny videos since 200800Share1.6K views Sep 2009The Onion satirizes Google's privacy controls with an opt-out village where users are isolated and trapped behind a giant security wall. Show transcript0:06Concerned about your privacy while using Google? The internet giant says it understands. Google is now offering users a chance to opt out and live in privacy in a remote mountain village. Tech Trends reporter Jeff Tate has more.0:18Thanks, Teresa. They call it the Opt Out Village, and it's just what you'd expect from Google. If you want to keep your information private, all you have to do is move to our 22-acre opt-out village and not speak to anyone from the outside world. It's very simple.0:31Just go to the Google front page, click the opt-out button, and in minutes a van will come to your house and pick you up. That same day, a team of Google privacy experts eliminates your home address, guaranteeing it will no longer appear on Google local pages. And after just 2 days in the back of a van, you're there.0:47In the village, we can guarantee that there's no chance of Google reading your emails because there are no computers, and because they're also monitored and tracked by Google, there are no banks or hospitals.0:57Residents will be expected to know how to grow food, suture wounds, and bury corpses by hand if they plan to opt out, and Google has gone the extra mile to ensure that users who choose to opt out are given complete privacy in their new home. A 30 foot tall, 10 foot thick physical data security wall keeps all former Google users from leaving the village until they decide they want to start using Google again.1:18The opt-out village can't even be seen by Google satellites because the entire town is enclosed with a large metal box with no openings.1:25Google says those wishing to opt back into using Google after their time in the village will be allowed to do so if they agree to be branded with a whimsical G on their foreheads to label them doubters.1:35If you don't want to give us complete access to your most private thoughts and feelings, that's fine. Uh, you can just toil in the hinterlands and die young.1:41And Carter says the opt-out village is already getting rave review. One of the first village residents sent this letter praising the total privacy inside the village, saying, all alone, no light, hard to breathe. Now that's one man whose data is secure. For the Onion News Network, I'm Jeff Tate.1:58Thanks, Jeff. If you have any questions about the Opt-Out Village, type them in an email to a friend, and Google will get back to you within 24 hours. And in just a minute, is your child missing out on teen sex parties?
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