Ben Folds On Chatroulette

ODE TO MERTON. NIGHT ONE CHARLOTTE, NC. there are dirty words...but we edited out the penises. [crowd cheering] [music] Are you sad? Are you sad? We've come to cheer you up. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. 2000 people here in Charlotte are here to cheer you up. Hello, Mr. Shirtless Man. How are you doing today? Is it hot in there? There's a note on a white piece of paper. What does it say? Is there really a person in there? Show your face if there is. Show your face if there is. All right. Can't read sideways. I got to play minor chords. Gonna read sideways. If you turn your head, I win. Aw, you win. Can you write your name for us? We want to sing a song for you. You want a song? If you write your fucking name. Oh, Bobby. Oh, Bobby. Bobby likes to play him some games, he can win. I hope you win more than an asshole playing piano in 2000 people in Charlotte. Bobby, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby. You win. Okay. One more and then. I'm sitting around playing the piano. How you doing there? You looking so laid back. You got a knee, it's bigger than the rest of you. Is it a knee? I think it's a knee. Could it be your dick? You know, we were really having a good uh um. Woah! Hey, Ben, sitting on the toilet. Sit on the toilet, can't hang in. Hey, Ben, sitting on the toilet with your toilet roll. I looked up and you were there. Ben is back. Back with the toilet paper. Hey, Ben. On the can. Is everything coming out all right? It's good to be regular, Ben. I hope you've eaten your bran, Ben. We love you too, Ben. Clean up your can, Ben. God bless, Ben. We're waiting. We're waiting. Someone's baiting. Yeah, we're waiting. Still free to talk to a man in the dark. Middle-aged man sitting there in the dark. Make yourself known now. Free to talk now. We're going to change the channel on you. Creepy motherfucker in the dark. If I leave here tomorrow.