A parody of a Billy Mays infomercial for the Handy Switch light product.
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Billy Mays here with another fantastic product. It's called the Handy Switch. Any lamp, anywhere. Pick the lamp. Plug it in. Then peel and press. It's wireless. It's wireless. Don't worry about the wires. No need to stub or trip over nothing. You can put it in your bedrooms. You can put it in the fucking stairway and do a nice little drive-by. Turn that shit off. It's powerful radio frequency. Up to 50 feet away. Plug in the receiver, fucking peel it, fucking press it. It's wireless, so don't worry about the wires anymore. Fuck it. It's great for a child's room. It's not Christmas. Well, guess what, boom, now it is, bitches. Put one in your car. For added security. Fuck it. Put it on a tabletop, fuck. No more fucking around with that. No more fucking around with that either. Just get the Handy Switch and your problems are solved. It's 19.99. Free bonus. As a free bonus, we'll throw in this piece of shit LED light that can light up a fucking countertop, hardly. Maybe even a cup. It's fucking handy and it's 19.99, bitches. As a double offer, we'll fucking throw in the whole thing again. Just pay shipping and handling. You get two Handy Switches, two remote receivers, and two shitty lights. 19.99 and it's not available in stores.
