2.1K views Apr 2009
The Onion News Network satirizes violent video games with a report on Close Range, a shooter praised for its story, multiplayer, and point-blank gunplay.
0:06 Video game fans are lining up today to be the first to purchase Close Range, the hotly anticipated video game in which players repeatedly shoot people point blank in the face. 0:16 Onion News Network tech trends reporter Jeff Tate has more. 0:20 Thanks, Bobby. Close Range is already being hailed by critics as the most important game of the year. 0:25 The first person shooter creates an immersive, richly detailed world where players shoot people in the face with guns. 0:31 Reviewers say it brings a new level of depth to gaming. 0:34 Just like great literature or film transports you to different worlds, Close Range transports you to a world where you fire bullets into an endless stream of faces. 0:41 Fans say it's the game's well-developed characters and storyline that make Close Range so compelling. 0:47 You just feel like you're inside this complex character who's thrust into a world where he has to blow people's heads off. 0:52 The plot follows AJ, a man with a mysterious past who must explode hundreds of thousands of human faces on a quest to save his kidnapped brother. 1:01 Who are you? 1:02 Someone who can help. 1:03 Hmm. 1:04 I know where your brother is. 1:06 Tell me. 1:07 Look out! 1:08 But Close Range's single player story is just the beginning. 1:11 Its outstanding multiplayer mode offers unparalleled interactivity by allowing players to blast each other's faces off. 1:18 It's completely open-ended. You can shoot someone in the ear, but you can also shoot them in the eye. 1:23 With hundreds of hidden extras like side missions where players can take a break from shooting people in the face to shoot animals in the face, Close Range will keep players hooked for weeks. 1:31 And with the sequel, Close Range 2: Chainsaw Dawn, continuing the epic story next fall, Close Range fans have even more to look forward to. 1:40 For the Onion News Network, I'm Jeff Tate. 1:43 Thanks, Jeff. When we come back, a new cure for crying children, smothering. 
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