1.3K views Apr 2010
A comedian describes Facebook as a game of collecting friends, sorting them into odd categories, and checking women's profiles for relationship changes.
0:00 Some of you have probably already heard about Facebook, uh, maybe you even have a profile page on there. 0:09 But for those who don't know what it is, Facebook is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game in which the objective is to collect friends. 0:25 Uh, I like it because I've never had many friends in the offline world, but I have loads of Facebook friends now. 0:33 Um, in fact, I've got so many that I find it helpful to organize them into different categories. 0:40 I- I don't know if you do this. Um, the smallest group in my list is called people I sometimes physically see. 0:50 Uh, that's basically only a couple of people from my church and the guy who runs the corner shop. 0:58 Oh, and Dane Geld, who is quite insistent that I add him. 1:04 Then I've got a group called People from the Past. Uh, these aren't actual historical figures. 1:11 We still don't have the technology to permit social networking with people who lived hundreds of years ago. 1:18 Although, when that does become possible, it will be quite fascinating. 1:24 Um, but no, these are people I used to know at school or university or at various places of work who, for whatever reason, stopped communicating with me. 1:37 Um, and I suppose the reason we failed to stay in touch might be that we had nothing in common, but but now, of course, we certainly do have something in common again, in that we're all on Facebook. 1:53 Uh, the largest category is the one I call people I know from various websites who I'll probably never actually meet. 2:03 That's mainly people from YouTube and the pointless internet argument forums, or Edith.com, as we like to call it. 2:13 Uh, little joke there for people who like acronyms and deceased French warblers. 2:20 And the last group is the good-looking females group, which is further subdivided into way too young, impractical or unavailable, and potentials. 2:33 And this to me is the best thing about Facebook. On the rare occasions that I have nothing else to do in the evening, I can happily spend hours just browsing the photographs of the women in this group and checking for changes in relationship status. 2:55 Th- there's nothing better than finding out that an attractive woman has just broken up with her boyfriend. 3:01 I mean, it's sad, obviously, but well, it it's a sadness that's tinged with arousal. 3:11 See you on Facebook. 
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