Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffCrimes Of CarelessnessDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share1.5K views Jun 2009A deadpan safety lecture gives absurd advice about matches, bicycles, school, stairs, and driving in this satirical sketch about avoiding accidents. Show transcript0:04Accidents happen when people aren't being careful, but we can all live safely if we just follow a few simple rules.0:11First, make sure your shoelaces are tied nice and tight, otherwise you could trip and fall and poke your eye out.0:20Never play with matches. They're very, very dangerous. If you find any matches, have your parents eat them so you won't be tempted to play with them.0:29Bicycles are also very dangerous. You could break your neck.0:33If you have to ride a bike, make sure to ride it really, really slowly.0:38Or better yet, why not turn your bicycle over and pedal it upside down?0:44It's also a good idea to check for bombs planted by commie spies.0:49Make sure you wave hello to pedestrians before you run them over.0:55School is a dangerous place too, so keep a brick in your desk just in case.1:01Never drink through your nose, that's a sure way to drown. And whenever possible, walk down the right side of the hall, that way you won't bump into any nerds walking the other way.1:12Also, when going down a staircase, be careful that your ghost doesn't trip and fall and break his neck.1:19And make sure you tie yourself into bed at night so you don't fall out.1:25Safety is important for grown-ups too. For example, on the highway, make sure you find a long, straight stretch of road before you fall asleep at the wheel.1:35Always come to a complete stop before changing the radio station.1:40If you're in an accident and you're not wearing a seat belt, try to block a fall with your forehead.1:47And never drive anywhere with a rabid Wolverine in your pants.1:51Follow these few simple rules, and you're well on your way to a safer, healthier you.
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