1.9K views Sep 2008
Chris Rock delivers a satirical public-service guide to police encounters, advising viewers to obey the law, stay calm, and keep quiet during traffic stops.
0:00 People in the black community, myself, often worry that we might be a victim of police brutality. 0:06 So, as a public service, The Chris Rock Show proudly presents this educational video. 0:21 Have you ever been face to face with a police officer and wondered, is he about to kick my ass? 0:28 Well, wonder no more. If you follow these easy tips, you'll be fine. 0:33 First, obey the law. Laws were made for a reason. Think of them as hints. 0:39 You've heard people say, man, I wouldn't do that shit if I was you. 0:43 Well, here's some of that shit. Carjacking, armed robbery, arson, selling drugs, buying drugs, stabbing, shooting. 0:51 You know, you probably won't get your ass kicked if you just use common sense. 0:57 If you jump a subway turnstile, you might just get off with a warning from the police. 1:02 But if you jump a turnstile carrying a loaded gun and smoking a joint, then maybe you need your ass kicked. 1:13 We all know what happened to Rodney King, but Rodney wouldn't have gotten his ass kicked if he had just followed this simple tip. 1:21 When you see flashing police lights in your mirror, stop immediately. 1:27 Everybody knows, if the police have to come and get you, they're bringing an ass kicking with them. 1:39 Here's a no-brainer. If you're listening to loud rap music, turn that shit off. 1:45 Blasting fuck the police while you're getting pulled over by the police is just ignorant. 1:51 When an officer approaches your car, be polite. 1:56 Is there a problem, officer? 2:00 And stay in your car with your hands on the wheel. 2:04 What the fuck you want, motherfucker? 2:09 Unless you want your ass kicked. 2:15 Want to give a friend a ride? Not so fast. Your friend might be crazy. 2:22 Now, before you let your friend in your car, ask them these questions. 2:26 Do you have a gun? Do you have drugs? Do you have any warrants? 2:31 And in case you do get pulled over by the cops. 2:33 License and registration, please. 2:36 Remind your friend to do this one thing. Shut the fuck up. 2:40 Man, don't give him shit. What the fuck you want? 2:52 If you have to give a friend a ride, get a white friend. 2:57 A white friend could be the difference between a ticket 3:01 and a bullet in the ass. 3:06 Here's a tip you should never forget. If your woman is mad at you, leave her at home, because a mad woman will say anything. 3:14 He got weed, he got weed! 3:17 If your woman is mad at you, there's nothing she'd like to see more than you getting your ass kicked. 3:23 That's right, getting his fucking ass. Shut up no more. He got wings, he got wings. 3:30 Now let's review. Obey the law. Use common sense. Stop immediately. 3:36 Turn that shit off. Be polite. Shut the fuck up. Get a white friend. 3:42 And last but not least, don't ride with a mad woman. If you follow these simple pointers, you probably won't get your ass kicked by the police. 
