Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffGet Your Dick SuckedDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.4K views Jan 2010A mock activist argues that people should prioritize getting oral sex over issues like climate change and healthcare in this satirical street sketch. Show transcript0:08Human beings live in a world of shadows. Lies are sold to us through the alternative media, capitalist activist groups, grassroots movements, nonprofit organizations, and science.0:20We live in Plato's cave. But one man has been turning away from the shadows and glaring into reality's light.0:28He is tired of all the lies, and he is bravely preaching a long lost truth, that the most important thing in life is getting your dick sucked.0:55Uh, what issues should, uh, human beings be focusing on in 2010?1:00I would say probably universal healthcare.1:04Definitely diminishing our dependence on fossil fuels and switching over to a more sustainable form of energy.1:11Global warming?1:13Well, uh,1:15the, the, uh, the growing gap between the rich and the poor.1:20Uh, the environment?1:22Global?1:22Uh, uh, diminishing fresh water supplies.1:26These activist groups, or whatever you want to call them, uh, are actually pretty clever.1:33This is what they do. They'll suck you in with a bunch of dramatic stories about the deterioration of the environment, global warming, privatized warfare, diminishing fresh water supplies,1:43so on and so forth. But what they're actually doing is creating a smoke screen to distract you from what you should be doing, which is spending all of your time and energy on trying to get your dick sucked.2:00You got to get that dick sucked.2:04Simon Wet Dig Bergeron is the founder and sole member of the Fellatio Truth movement.2:10His goal is to spread awareness of the fellatio seeking lifestyle, one convert at a time.2:15Excuse me, ma'am, you have a second?2:22Hello, ma'am, I'm here on behalf of Fellatio Truth. Can I have a moment of your time, please?2:26No.2:27It'll only take a minute, sir.2:31You know, sometimes people are so caught up with the propaganda that they're, they're closed off to new ideas and don't want to hear the truth.2:38But hey, that's something we have to live with and fight for, one person at a time.2:42All right, next house.3:00When's the last time you heard a spokesperson from Greenpeace talking about the immense pleasure you experience when your penis is inside someone else's mouth?3:07Huh? The answer is never, and you will never hear them talk about it.3:11You know why? Because Greenpeace, as a nonprofit environmentalist organization, has no personal interest in sharing that information with you.3:19It's as simple as that. I read Hegemony or Survival by Noam Chomsky last week, 300 pages, 300 pages.3:26Nowhere does it mention that 39% of girls actually swallow. They swallow the semen.3:32Nowhere in his book. Coincidence? Ha! I don't think so.3:57Al Gore is actually very clever, um, when he gets up in front of an audience and starts talking about global warming, um, he seems to be bringing up very valid points that are backed by years and years of scientific research and so on and so forth.4:10But what he's actually doing, uh, is he's trying to confuse you.4:14You see, he's throwing all these ideas at you and all this information, and while you're busy trying to sort it all out in your head, you're forgetting that it's 2 AM and all the drunk,4:23slutty girls are stumbling out of the bars. And guess what, buddy?4:27You just lost a golden opportunity to get your dick wet. That's what Al Gore's doing, and he's damn good at it.4:44Sometimes it's hard to know whether or not you're caught up in one of the lies.4:47Uh, the propaganda can be quite, uh, convincing. Um, therefore, I've, uh, created some rules that everyone should abide by.4:55Rule number one goes like this: if you're worried about the planet getting hot...5:01Then you know that no one is sucking your cock.5:05It rhymes, makes it easier to remember.5:14Rule number 2 goes as follows. Worried about the gap between the rich and the poor?5:20You should be worrying about getting your dick inside of a whore's mouth.5:26It was hard to make that one rhyme. There's not a lot that rhymes with poor.5:39Hey, Julie. Hey, how's it going? Uh, what are you up to tonight?5:45George Orwell once said, in a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.5:54Am I spearheading a revolution?5:58Maybe.5:59You should, uh, come over. Yeah, watch a movie or something.6:03Am I gonna get my dick sucked tonight?6:06Okay, well, I'll see you in an hour then. All right. Uh, bring some chapstick, okay?6:12All right, see ya.6:18Definitely. Definitely.6:20Ah.6:24Whew.6:28Uh, rinse out your mouth first, please.6:34Thank you.
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