1.3K views Nov 2008
A mock news panel debates Halloween commercialization, contrasting modern costumes and candy with increasingly bizarre claims about ancient rituals and spirits.
0:11 I'm Gregory Dawson, filling in for Clifford Baines, who is staying off the grid until things cool down. 0:16 The Halloween season is upon us once again, but with Americans spending an estimated 54 billion dollars this season, many lament that we seem to have lost touch with the true meaning of the holiday. 0:26 Are they right? 0:27 Absolutely. Americans have completely forgotten what Halloween is really about, appeasing evil spirits to ward off sickness and ensure a bountiful harvest. 0:36 You know, last Halloween, I asked my nephew, do you know why you wear a costume? 0:40 And he said, to have fun and get candy. 0:42 That is so sad. 0:43 He didn't even know that it was to protect his virgin spirit from the wretched dead that roam the earth one night a year to steal souls. 0:49 Hey, I hate to say it, but times have changed, and and and the and for some people, the emphasis is not on frightening away the demons. 0:55 I'm sorry, Duncan, but frightening away demons is a reason for the season. 0:59 Listen, listen, I'm, I'm not saying that I'm not afraid of ghouls. 1:02 I'm terrified of them. I'm saying that there is more than one way to celebrate. 1:06 And now here's something. A recent poll of American fifth graders found that 63% could identify the cartoon character Jack Skellington, 1:13 Mm. 1:13 while only 14% could identify Al Ghol, the ghoul that dwells in burial ground. 1:18 Oh, that is appalling, kids being more familiar with a fictional cartoon than a real ghoul. 1:23 They're putting themselves 1:24 But when I was a child, our whole family would go down to the public square, we'd get around that ceremonial mound, and we would go sunwise and anti-sunwise. 1:31 It was a family thing to do. 1:33 Oh, and don't forget the traditional Halloween songs, you know, especially So shoni lonoi haptuna 1:42 ke argi narji. 1:48 And then everyone would throw the, the bones of their slaughtered livestock into the communal bonfire. 1:52 Nowadays, most people just go to a butcher, they buy a bag of the pre-cut bones. 1:56 Or they pull the, uh, artificial bones out of the closet 1:59 Right. 2:00 and dust them off. 2:01 And that's because for some families, the plastic bones are a time saver. 2:04 Come on, the bones, the whole reason behind it is the time spent butchering with the family. 2:07 Absolutely. 2:07 Absolutely. 2:08 In the town that I live in, we don't even erect an altar anymore where we can torture animals as a warning 2:13 Oh, stop. 2:13 to the spectral realm. 2:14 No, why? But why? 2:15 Because someone complained about the howling. 2:17 Yes, but the howling is the whole point. 2:19 Oh, you're telling me. 2:20 How are you gonna scare the demons away without 2:21 Well, some people get enough out of a 30-minute forest ritual, uh, as they do in a 4-hour one. 2:27 Donning animal skins and dancing around a fire pit is the most important event of the whole holiday. 2:32 Not for everyone, 2:32 It's a total waste of time. 2:34 not everyone literally believes that phantoms will come and replace their fields with rocks and put a blight upon their house. 2:40 Enter the spirit. 2:41 I do not want to spay the stillborn birds. 2:44 Be quiet! 2:45 Think about our whales. 2:47 The, the leaf fancy instead of algal, then that's their choice. 2:52 You can wish away to the dark house. 2:54 I don't know what to say. I'll go play. 2:57 Everybody, get out of your ambulance! 2:59 So sorry. 3:04 I'm not even here! 3:05 Let go of him. 3:07 It's too- 3:07 Please, I don't want to get in touch. 
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