Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffHeckler In Last Comic StandingDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.1K views Apr 2009A stand-up set on Last Comic Standing turns into a back-and-forth as the comedian trades sharp insults with hecklers in the audience. Show transcript0:03Thank you. Oh, it's nice to be here. I live in a nice little neighborhood not far from here that has a huge Armenian population.0:10So I have a lot of Armenian neighbors and friends, and I know they're my friends because they always call me Bill, my friend, which I love.0:16I love that about them.0:24That guy bought my abdominizer at the last garage sale.0:29Are you okay, dude?0:36Oh my God.0:40We're gonna have to ask you to buckle your seat belt.0:45Dude.0:49I'm glad you're having a good time. Oh. Remind me never to hire you for a roofing job.1:00Hello, hello. So I'm 3 weeks pregnant, we just found out. Thank you.1:04Is that blush, or did you spread cherry syrup on your cheeks?1:07Ah, get out of it. I'm so bored of this guy.1:09I'm just, I don't know.1:10This guy.1:11You look a little jolly.1:12Get a real job.1:12You look a little jolly.1:13I'm gonna let y'all know now, I ain't got jokes, I got problems.1:17I mean, I'm telling you, I got so many damn problems, it ain't even funny.1:21And ladies, you know, when we get stressed out, we do different things.1:24We go mess up our hair, go get our hair done. I found the remedy.1:28When I get stressed out, I go see my OB-GYN. That's my man.1:33Yeah! Moni!1:36Shut the up. Shut your ass up.1:39Preach out!1:42Moni! Doing your thing.1:46Monique!1:51You all right, baby?1:52Broke down Monique.1:55Do your thing.1:56Broke down Monique?1:57Yeah!2:01How come we don't have any Palestinian baseball pitchers? They have been throwing rocks for 3,000 years.2:08Why don't you pull out that golf pencil in your pants and write a new act?2:12Did you have trouble with the pole work at the strip club? Is that what you're doing here?2:17There's a reason they don't hand these out at the door. The last intelligent thing to come out of your mouth had a on the end of it.2:26Shut the up. I gotta quit smoking, especially in LA. You ca- you guys hate it.2:30I was smoking outside the airport. This woman says, you take a drag and a cigarette's gonna cut a minute off your life.2:35I'm like, at my age, what the am I going to do with a minute?2:39Yeah, that's great. You know anybody else's act?2:41Yeah, I do. I know yours, but it's, uh, it's not memorable.2:45I thought your hair and nails were supposed to stop growing after you died.2:50Hey, why don't you go home and give your boyfriend's wardrobe back?2:53You too.2:56Yeah, my boyfriend wears this a lot.2:58Yeah, what are you in, the gay army?3:00Yeah. Hey, let me tell you something. Suicide is an option.3:04How did you get off the Titanic?3:08You know why? Because I was in menopause. I ate the iceberg.3:17They got a birth control patch now. It's for ladies. Couldn't have them for dudes, we'd be wearing them on our faces.3:25Look, babe, I got 5 of them.3:28I've never seen a white Ethiopian before.3:30I just got heckled by Screech, that's ridiculous.3:35Do those legs go all the way up to your vagina?3:40No, but they did go all the way up to your sister's, so.3:43My sister's dead.3:47No, she just doesn't call you anymore.3:52Chia perm.3:53It is a chia perm. I put the seeds on there, and then I wet them, and then I call your dead sister over to fertilize them.4:01Inappropriate.4:07It is inappropriate, much like your facial hair. Hair.4:17All right.
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