I Fucking Shit My Pants

I shit my pants last night. I did. I fucking shit my pants. Had a great meal. Just a great fucking meal. I had to go to the bathroom so bad. I fucking shit my pants. I shit my pants last night. I did. I fucking shit my pants. Had a great meal. Just a great fucking meal. I had to go to the bathroom so bad. I fucking shit my pants. Fucking shit my pants. When was the last time you shit your pants? Me? Yeah. Been a while. I am good for twice a year for that. Oh. I was in Vegas a couple of years ago, staying at the Bellagio. I went over to the Mirage for dinner and met some friends of mine. Went to Cocomos. The guy brings out some fresh crab legs. These things just came in. I gotta give you guys. I am eating them. I am not gambling. I am walking back to the hotel. Then all of a sudden, I go, 'Oh, fuck.' And I am standing here like this. I got my butt pinched so fucking. I am I am fucked. I can't move. And I am standing here like this. I got my butt pinched so fucking. I am I am fucked. I can't move. And I am standing here like this. I got my butt pinched so fucking. I am I am fucked. I can't move. All of a sudden, you know, felt all right. I went just like this. Water. No way. I had that some food poisoning from the crabs. I am just standing there and it's just running down my leg. It's just running down my leg. It's just running down. And then I just start fucking walking. Every time I am walking, something is coming out. And then I just start fucking walking. Every time I am walking, something is coming out. Something is coming out. Everywhere I shit all over myself. I take off all my fucking clothes. Just wipe off. Leave my shoes. Left my shoes, my pants. Everything right there. The towels are right there in the stall. Right there, the towels are right there in the stall. Right there, the towels are right there in the stall. Right there, the towels are right there in the stall. Got up in the morning, took the most perfect double tapered shit I ever had in my life. Most perfect double tapered. Most perfect. Most perfect double tapered double double tapered. Most perfect double tapered shit I ever had in my life. Double tapered shit. Double tapered. Double tapered. Double tapered shit. Double tapered shit. True story. Who's the pitchers in this game?