Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffI Loved CollegeDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share7.5K views Dec 2009A man laments his mundane office job and pines for his lost college days. Show transcript0:05I'm not nice right now, man. I, I feel old. If you have a Tums, would you please put it in the air?0:15That meeting Monday was awfully boring. I wish I skipped it.0:21I worked my ass off, but I don't make shit with this paycheck.0:25I use spreadsheets and fax machines. Don't have time to smoke no weed.0:30Pass out at 8, wake up at 6, catch my carpool, then do it again.0:36Man, I love college.0:36I wish I stayed in college for the rest of my life. Now I do taxes and act real polite.0:42At business meetings, I talk market price, but casual Fridays are really nice.0:47So fill my inbox, pull up my socks. I got team building, that shit rocks.0:53I am champion at dying on the inside.0:58I can't meet girls, not like at school. Nobody getting wasted, biddies aren't naked.1:04If I want some ass, it's power yoga class. Something I learned about women today is, um, they do not like if you tap the butt or you say great tits.1:16They'll slap your face off and have you transferred down to the basement.1:21If they're not drunk, I can't proceed. I can't spit game with girls like these.1:26They're too mature, but then again, not college sluts, career women.1:31Man, I loved college, and I loved drinking. I got my thermos.1:40Man, I loved college.1:44I can't tell you what I learned from school, 'cause I didn't learn anything from school.1:49Um, at my job I learned some rules, like put cover sheets on them Johns, and don't use the printer if the ink's gone, and don't tell the boss when he's wrong.2:00When it comes to college, I get hard on, wanna go back to school and get my bro on.2:05All my dreams gone, nothing in the long run. College must have been just a little bit too fun.2:11Time is wasted when you're getting wasted. Looked in the mirror, and all I could say is, those college parties were awfully crazy.2:20I wish I taped them. Now it's the real world with my real job, and I hate it.2:27My birthday on fake IDs, the only math I thought I'd need.2:32I'm not prepared. I'm not ready. I don't know how I got my degree.2:38Man, I loved college. I think I'm balding.2:44Pepto-Bismol. I loved college.2:51Now, if everybody would please lift their name tag as high as they can, as high as they can, and repeat after me.3:01Junior assistant, junior assistant, junior assistant, junior assistant.3:07Intern, intern, intern, intern. Type, type, type, type, type, type, type, type.3:18Memos, memos, memos.3:25Man, I loved college. I loved it, but I really should have drank less and gone to class more.3:37I'm an adult now.3:40I got old fast.3:44You're next, watch out.3:47Gotta start dressing like your dad.3:49Math I thought I'd need. I'm not prepared, I'm not ready. I don't know how I got my3:55Did I really have to graduate?3:57Hey, I could go back and get my master's.4:07Oh my G, whose dick is this?
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