1.7K views May 2009
A customer pays to argue with a clerk, who responds with endless contradictions until their five-minute session expires in this classic Monty Python sketch.
0:01 Come in. 0:03 Is this the right room for an argument? 0:06 I've told you once. 0:08 No, you haven't. 0:08 Yes, I have. 0:10 When? 0:10 Just now. 0:11 No, you didn't. 0:12 Yes, I did. 0:13 Didn't? 0:13 I did. 0:13 Didn't? 0:14 I'm telling you I did. 0:15 You did not. 0:15 I'm sorry, is this a 5-minute argument or the full half hour? 0:19 Oh, oh, just the 5-minute one. 0:21 Bye. 0:24 Thank you. Anyway, I did. 0:26 You most certainly did not. 0:27 Now, let's get one thing quite clear. I most definitely told you. 0:31 You did not. 0:31 Yes, I did. 0:32 You did not. 0:32 Yes, I did. 0:33 Didn't. 0:33 Yes, I did. 0:34 Didn't. 0:34 Yes, I did. 0:35 No, this isn't an argument. 0:36 Yes, it is. 0:37 No, it isn't. It's just contradiction. 0:38 No, it isn't. 0:39 Yes, it is. 0:39 It is not. 0:40 It is! You just contradicted me. 0:42 No, I didn't. 0:43 Oh, you did. 0:43 No, no, no, no, no, no. 0:45 You did just then. 0:46 No, no, no nonsense. 0:47 Oh, look, this is futile. 0:48 No, it isn't. 0:49 I came here for a good argument. 0:50 No, you didn't. You came here for an argument. 0:51 Well, an argument's not the same as contradiction. 0:54 Can be. 0:54 No, it can't. An argument's a connected series of statements to establish a definite proposition. 0:59 No, it isn't. 1:00 Yes, it is. It isn't just contradiction. 1:02 Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position. 1:05 But it isn't just saying no, it isn't. 1:07 Yes, it is. 1:07 No, it isn't. 1:09 Argument's an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic game saying of anything the other person says. 1:14 No, it isn't. 1:15 Yes, it is. 1:16 Not at all. 1:16 Now look. 1:18 Thank you. Morning. 1:22 What? 1:24 That's it. Morning. 1:26 But I was just getting interested. 1:27 Sorry, the 5 minutes is up. 1:29 That was never 5 minutes just now. 1:31 I'm afraid it was. 1:32 No, it wasn't. 1:34 Sorry, I'm not allowed to argue anymore. 1:36 What? 1:37 If you want me to go on arguing, I'll have to pay for another 5 minutes. 1:40 But that was never 5 minutes just now. Oh, come on. 1:47 This is ridiculous. 1:48 I'm very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you pay. 1:53 Oh, all right. 1:57 There you are. 1:58 Thank you. 1:59 Well? 2:02 Well, what? 2:02 That was never 5 minutes just now. 2:03 I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you pay. 2:05 I just paid. 2:06 No, you didn't. 2:06 I did, I did, I did! No, I don't want to argue about that. 2:11 Well, I'm very sorry, but you didn't pay. 2:13 Aha! Well, if I didn't pay, why are you arguing? Got you. 2:17 No, you haven't. 2:17 Is that? If you're arguing, I must have paid. 2:20 Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time. 2:26 I've had enough of this. 2:26 No, you haven't. 2:27 Oh, shut up. 
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