1.8K views May 2009
A mock documentary traces Keyboard Cat Fatso's rise from Woodstock performer to internet meme, with fictional tales of music, fame, and a career revival.
0:06 Fatso Schmidt, AKA the Keyboard Cat, has become an overnight internet sensation. 0:13 The cat's first public performance came in August of 1969 at a new venue called Woodstock. 0:19 A lot of people think that Hendrix was the last act, you know, doing the whole, uh, Star-Spangled Banner thing, but Fatso actually ended the concert, but I think a lot of people had left, 0:30 and I don't know, people don't realize that Fatso was at Woodstock. 0:33 When Play Him Off came out, um, you know, they talk about the day the music died. 0:38 This was the day that music was born. The songs were infectious, they were in your mind, you felt like your heart was beating, not to what a normal heartbeat is, but it was to Keyboard Cat songs. 0:51 That Fatso Variety Hour was killer, and he had everybody on it, and suddenly the guests we were getting, we had started at first, but suddenly the guests what we wanted, Fatso was booking them out. 1:03 If you remember the election of 1980, uh, Carter was scheduled to be on the show, and Keyboard Cat said no. 1:10 Ronald Reagan goes on the show, brings an oboe, they play Why Can't We Be Friends by War? 1:17 3 weeks later, Reagan wins. The public wanted more, and he couldn't deliver, and then it just spiraled downward. 1:26 He was partying with Betty Ford, and they both hit rock bottom together. 1:30 I mean, there was a lot of promiscuous sex, uh, I mean, you know, how many times can you pull and pray, uh, before your prayers run out? 1:37 And if you were an orphan between 1995 and 1991, statistically, Keyboard Cat is your father. 1:45 Look no further. C- call off the dogs. He's your dad. 1:49 It's really hard growing up knowing that your father was a cat, and he was just never really around it. 1:54 He tries, he tries to be a good dad. 1:58 Can we, can we take a second? 2:04 What the are you doing? You're so unprofessional. 2:09 I first met Keyboard Cat, uh, must have been after his fourth or fifth stint in rehab. 2:14 Uh, it was through a mutual friend, actually, Aerosmith. Uh, at the time, Keyboard Cat really wanted to revitalize his music career, in this case by, uh, joining a hip, young, new band. 2:26 At first, we were really excited to have such a legendary musician join our band, but he kept wanting to play the same keyboard riff over and over and over again. 2:36 I remember I went into the coffee bean, of course, and I saw out of the corner of my eye, there he is, just sort of sitting there, and I said, come with me, we're getting out of here. 2:46 We get into the studio, and I sit him down, uh, 3:03 and then of course we portaled through that to youtube.com, uh, forward slash video, and it spreads like, like bloody Wi-Fi. 3:13 It spreads like a pair of legs. 3:14 I understand that everybody and their mama is trying to be an internet meme now. 3:20 You know, everyone's posting their video thinking, oh, I can be big on YouTube, but seriously, a cat thinks he can just dust off that keyboard and start playing? 3:31 You know, what's gonna be next, a cherry chocolate catnip? Come on. 3:35 The fact that Fatso has one of the slammingest tunes, that da da da ba ba bow ba ba ba, it's so cool, man, and it's so like every music. 3:45 I mean, you know, you gotta hand it to him. That's one cool cat. 3:48 Keyboard cat is, I mean, he's playing off, um, you know, beauty pageant winners, um, when they should stop speaking, um, people that are failing, uh, people that shouldn't be there. 4:00 He's ushering them right out, and we're ushering them right back in. 4:04 Uh, I know I am. 
