1.6K views Jun 2009
A college student records a dramatic farewell video, but classmates, family, good grades, and interruptions keep derailing his plans in this dark comedy sketch.
0:09 Hello, world. By the time you see this, I will have committed suicide. 0:13 I will have carved out a niche of my own in the universe. For once in my life, I will have taken a... 0:19 I thought you were supposed to be in class. 0:21 Got out early. 0:22 Ooh, Skippy. 0:26 Hello, friends. By the time you see this, I will have committed. 0:31 I will have carved out a niche in my... 0:38 Yeah, I'm serious. I wouldn't have put in my away list if I wasn't serious. 0:47 Hello, Dad. Recognize this? I know how much you love opening up your envelopes, your checks, your bills. 0:55 I'm gonna be a little envelope today, Dad. I'm gonna... 1:05 Hey, Mom. Hey, what's up? No, don't put Dad on. 1:11 Hey, Dad. How's it going? Oh, you read my article? 1:18 You liked it? Really? Thanks a lot. I love you too. 1:30 Hello, classmates, you may- 1:32 Dude, dude, don't freak out. I'm just gonna use the bathroom, okay? 1:36 Hey, I'm Michelle. 1:39 Hey, Michelle. I know you don't recognize this, but you recognize this? 1:44 The mix CD you made me? Should make a good soundtrack to my death. 1:50 As you stand, stand by me. 2:00 So stand by me, whoa, stand. 2:05 I'm sorry! Hey, let's not fight, baby. Oh, my baby bear. 2:13 I love my baby. Who loves their ba- 2:22 Hello, Professor Walters. Now, I bet you look at me and you say, here's a kid from a good family, really cool girlfriend, nothing gets him down, but your test was so blatantly unfair, 2:31 we didn't even go over half the things on. 2:33 Dude, they posted the grades. You got a 97, dude. 2:36 Fuck! 2:37 Dudes, dude. 2:39 Hello? Yeah, 911? Yeah, I called you guys 3 times within the last 15 minutes, and I still don't hear any ambulances, huh? 2:46 What do you think this is, a game? What, you think I'm playing around? 2:50 Oh yes. 2:54 No, no, no, no, no, no, please don't die, please don't die, please don't die. 
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