1.6K views Jan 2009
A man calls tech support and gets trapped in a bizarre automated phone menu that triggers childhood memories, a visit from his father, and a surprise gun deployment.
0:02 Rate me. 0:06 Rate me, my friend. 0:08 Thank you for calling our support line. This call will be recorded for quality assurance. 0:13 Please state your name for our records. 0:16 Michael Swain. 0:17 Did you say Bicycle Train? 0:19 No. 0:20 Did you say Michael Swain? 0:21 Yes. 0:22 You have selected no. 0:23 Oh my God. 0:25 Main menu. To speak to an operator, say 1. 0:28 1. 0:29 Did you say gun? 0:30 Why is that even... 1. 0:32 You pressed 1. Did you mean to press 2? If so, press 1 now. 0:39 You have reached the secret bonus menu. To activate the sound, say sound. 0:44 To speak to your dead father, say papa. 0:47 Sound? 0:47 Activating the sound. 0:48 Papa! Oh, why is this happening? 0:52 You have selected relive childhood trauma. 0:58 I love you, Lucky. 1:02 Lucky. 1:06 Please note, downloading memories may result in spontaneous musical ability. 1:15 It doesn't always work. 1:22 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 1:26 What do you want from me? 1:28 To stop me from deploying invisible assassin Asako Urayoshi Kage, press the correct button now. 1:40 Assassin deployed. Assassin deployed. 2:08 Please state your selection. 2:14 Please state your selection. 2:18 No voice found. Using prior recording to determine selection. 2:23 Read me, my friend. 2:26 Selection determined. 2:30 Who is it? 2:31 It's Eve, just, uh, stopping by to check in and say hey, did you want to drink at all? 2:37 Um, just be friends with me and, like, just kick it. I just brought some Pacificos, uh, be and touch your hair, and I just, I miss you. 2:49 Launch codes accepted. 2:59 Did you say Papa? 3:01 What? 3:03 Mikey. 3:04 Dad? 3:05 Mikey. Is that you, son? 3:08 Oh my God, Daddy. 3:10 Now listen to me, it's very important. 3:12 I have analyzed your problem. Try restarting your computer. 3:18 Oh, awesome. 3:19 Did you say gun? 3:20 What? 3:21 Deploying gun. 3:24 Gun deployed. 
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