Things I Hate

I hate when guys wear skinny jeans. I hate when people drink directly out of a carton. Like, if I'm in the house with you, and we're sitting up here sharing this motherfucking milk, why the fuck do you think you can just put your mouth all up on it and just drink the shit. What the fuck are you doing? I hate when I'm on Chatroulette and I'm trying to connect with somebody and all I see is penis. I hate when you go buy a movie, like I did. I got Sorority Row and then they have it in this stupid ass cover. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? What the fuck do I need all this extra shit for? I don't need this, don't give me this. You just wasting fucking trees and shit all over this fucking movie. I just want this and the motherfucking disc. What the fuck do... I only meant to throw the first one. I hate when people get Chinese food and they talk about they're going to the Chinaman. What the fuck is the Chinaman? I hate when you're driving and bitches don't use a turn signal, and so you have to slam on your brakes when you realize they're about to slow their motherfucking asses down and take a turn, as though it's not the law. I really hate when I go to a restaurant and there's like a couple and they sit on the same side. Not that I don't know why that bothers me, but it does. Like, you're not waiting for anybody. You guys are just sitting there eating. That is just awkward, and I don't want to do that with anybody if I'm dating them. If I want you, I know, I know we're together. You don't need to sit right by me while I eat my food. That's just awkward, and I have no elbow room, and we just look stupid as hell if there's nobody sitting on the other side. What the fuck? I hate when I'm in class and the teacher has just explained something, and everybody asks the exact same question that they just answered. We were in class the other day and our teacher was talking about this geology field trip we're about to take, and he was like, meet in front of Jesse Hall, blah blah blah at 11:00, whatever the fuck time, and this girl raises her hand and she's like, where do we meet? What time? Listen, bitch. I really hate when people get into a fight and they start clapping their hands like this, and they think that they're going to do something for somebody and they think that this is helping them make their point. What the fuck are you doing? What is this adding to your statement? Absolutely nothing. So stop clapping. You're not at fucking Broadway. I hate when people give me a card for my birthday that sings to me, because that shit is not cute. I hate when you send a text message, like a long ass text message, and then somebody replies with like one word, and then you don't text them back, and then you see them later and they're like, why didn't you text me back? What the fuck am I supposed to reply to LOL? I hate fucking birds. They're fucking loud as hell, they're always up early, just chirping all over the damn place as though the rest of the world is not trying to sleep. Take your ass back to your tree and shut the fuck up.