1.6K views Nov 2008
An office manager tries to ban workplace masturbation before a supervisor's visit, while employees argue that the habit boosts morale and productivity.
0:04 Um, guys, sorry, can I just say something for a moment? Um, I know this isn't going to make me very popular, but, uh, got the supervisor coming tomorrow, and I don't want to see any wanking in the office. 0:15 That's bullshit. 0:16 Yeah, and to be honest, I think we're going to have to cut it out altogether. 0:19 No way! 0:21 Sorry. 0:21 Come, oh, come on. This, you know, there's such a thing as morale here, and last week you took the coffee machine away. 0:28 Now we've all got to go to the kitchen if you want a cup of coffee. 0:30 Do you know what I mean? And now what are you saying, that we can't wank in the office? 0:33 It's like you're trampling on our rights, Rogers. 0:35 There is, there are plenty of good reasons for it. 0:37 What, what, what are they? What are they? 0:39 One of the, one of the reasons is, is, is, is the, is the stink and the mess in this office. 0:43 Oh, get used to it. Come on. 0:47 How well do we work? How well do we work when we can just wank at will? 0:51 Everybody's got a way of making it work. There's a good system. 0:53 It's working for us. You, you know, please don't stop it. 0:57 I became part of this team not because of the pay and not because of the pension, but because, frankly, the wanking was great. 1:04 It was, it was, it was exciting to be part of. 1:06 But you knew what the policy was, so. 1:07 Yeah, and the policy, I'm afraid the policy 1:11 in France. 1:11 Yeah. 1:12 At home, suddenly. 1:13 Nothing wrong with wanking. 1:14 Well, we do, it's just you can't do that exclusively. 1:17 I want that stopped. 1:18 Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. I'm sorry, I just, for me, it's just 1:22 I don't want to make a big 1:22 It's covert oppression. 1:24 When we're wanking, performance is higher, morale is higher, everybody knows that. 1:29 Do you remember that night when we did it, we didn't wank for a week? 1:31 Remember we didn't wank for a week for charity? 1:33 I do. 1:34 Climbed and climbed and climbed. 1:36 Well, I, I, I 1:37 The business 1:38 We, we fold, we virtually fold. I like a wank as much as anybody else. 1:42 There are some people who don't. Peter, you were saying? 1:44 Oh, well, that's a big surprise. 1:46 I don't like it, you know. 1:47 I think if you 1:48 I, I have said I find it really 1:50 If you did a, a poll in the building, I think you'd 1:52 No, no, no. I find it really embarrassing, you know. Sometimes I just look up and I just see James wanking away there, and I just think it's disgusting. 2:01 Oh, well, that's nice. Thank you for it. Well, so the sight of me wanking is disgusting. 2:04 No, I don't. You know what I mean? 2:06 No, I'm just 2:07 No, I find it difficult to understand what you mean. The whole thing. 2:10 Just let, if I might, I, I think my position is this. I do not want to be sent to a little room to have a wank like a leper. 2:17 Do you know what I mean? I want to wank in here. 2:18 Face, it's affecting my work. It's literally affecting my work. 2:21 I mean, look, 2:21 Not so. 2:22 I've got the figures here from Alexander's. Look at that. And that's total, that's total assets for December, right? 2:30 And it is you. So I've got to get in touch with Alexander's. 2:34 Hey, oh, can you fax your, uh, figures through again? Because I can't see the total assets for December because of, because of James, because of James's ceiling. 2:43 It's, it's, you know, it's outrageous. 2:46 Well, my concern is what the supervisor's going to think. They come in, the supervisor comes in here and and sees the state of this office. 2:51 We'll give it a tidier. 2:53 Let's get the figures out for the, for that week we didn't wank, and I'll show you, I'll show you a company that didn't work as well. 2:58 Well, even so, I don't want to discuss it anymore, okay? I'm sorry. 3:00 If you've got any more complaints, put them in writing. Starting from tomorrow, no more wanking, okay? 3:05 Sorry. 3:09 Have you been listening to a word I've been saying? 
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