Whoreders

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You can do this, Captain. This is out of control. We can barely pay rent. I told him, if he doesn't clean this up, I'm out of here. These are my whores. Compulsive Whoreding is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to acquire and keep whores, even if the whores are worthless, hazardous, or unsanitary. I don't know why I keep all these bitches. I mean, maybe it's because I love them. But I know now that some of these hoes got to go. I mean, taking hoes away from me is like taking popcorn away from Orville Redenbacher. I work with people who suffer from OCD, hoarding, and lots of stuff. Are you going to make them throw at the trash, or what? You know nobody asked you your opinion. Positive words, Captain. Are you ready for this? Let's make some cuts. Frequently, compulsive whoreders will make excuses for why certain whores should not be discarded. Well, she's trying to improve herself, so. Okay, but if she's trying to improve herself, that means she's not good enough right now. Let's move on. She just turned 18. How did she hurt her eye, Captain? She ran into a door. Okay, you have to get rid of the clumsy whores, I'm sorry. You got to leave, little bruises. You got to go. Fuck you. Hey, fuck you, it's about loyalty, bitch. As the day continues, Captain P appears more and more willing to part with his whores. Alright, Captain, you're doing a great job so far. Now what about this one here? Oh man, I can't cut her. She was my first hoe. Okay. Dr. Little Dick, she hasn't turned a trick in 10 years. Hey, I've been sucking dick before you even first got molested. Who the hell you think you're talking to? Come on, you got to knock it off. All right. That's enough noise coming out of everybody. Hey, Captain, get the fuck out of here. Did nobody ask you? Hey, bitches, it's time for y'all to be quiet up in here. We taping a TV show. Captain P's made some great progress. He treats his work. Captain P is taking a whore through the back door. Isn't he allowed to? Back door. Okay. See, back door. What are you doing, Captain? What are you doing, Captain? Hey, stop, stop. We're trying to clean this house out and you can't bring them back in. Hey, these are my mama's girls. These ain't mine. Okay, these aren't your mama's girls. These are girls we put on the truck earlier. You have to get them out. Get to the truck. That was the deal. I'm sorry, ladies, you have to go. I choose you. We're going to get so much more business after this. I choose you. I choose you. The next day. Welcome. Huh, this is the kind of house that I can really see myself having some sex in. Thanks. Shall we? Captain P's made some great progress. He treats his work. The next day. What the fuck is you standing around for, bitch? Get back to work.