Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffAlone In The UniverseDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.2K views Mar 2009A man sings a comic song about loneliness, masturbation, and the music industry's formula for marketing romantic pop songs to teenage girls. Show transcript0:18We're floating in space on the edge of time, in a universe that we can't define.0:30Billions of stars in the endless night. Try and find purpose for our lives, yet we still take the time.0:44We still take the time.0:46Yes, we always take the time.0:53To master. Time0:53to masturbate.1:05To milk the snake.1:10Girls do the taco and shake.1:17I'm gonna hold my sausage hostage tonight.1:34Whether you're English, French, Japanese, or German, whether you're at home or at a movie with Pee-wee.1:46We all take matters into our own hands. With the five finger army, we invade our pants.1:57We'd all be doing time.2:00Yes, we'd all be doing time.2:03If it was a crime2:10to masturbate.2:21To pull the handbrake, to play vagina DJ.2:34She's gone. She's gonna play country on the clit tar2:39tonight.3:04He births his baby.3:09She's putting on a puppet show.3:15Our genitals are Juliet, our hands are Romeo.3:46That Marisa Tomei is hot.4:10Night.4:18Wealthy men hired me to sing this song that they wrote for me.4:24They're investing in this pricey music video, and they're paying to get it played on the radio.4:30On the radio.4:32And they're gonna sell a million.4:34A million.4:35Yes, it's gonna go platinum, 'cause the market this song to young, impressionable, and insecure teenage girls.4:45Cause all you gotta say is, oh baby, I love you, oh girl, I need you in my world.4:52Yes, I market this song to young, impressionable, and insecure teenage girls.4:59Cause all All they gotta do is find a sexually attractive man that can sing all the words.
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