1.8K views Dec 2008
The Lonely Island perform a comedy song about a man who repeatedly loses control at ordinary moments, from meeting someone at a club to eating a grape.
0:04 Lock eyes from across the room, down my drink while the rhythms boom. 0:08 Take your hand and skip the names, no need here for the silly games. 0:12 Make our way through the smoking crowd, the club is the sky and I'm on your cloud. 0:16 Move in close as the lasers fly, our bodies touch and the angels cry. 0:20 Leave this place, go back to yours, our lips first touch outside your doors. 0:24 The whole night, what we've got in store, whisper in my ear that you want some more, and I jizz in my pants. 0:29 This really never happens, you can take my word. I won't apologize, that's just absurd. 0:33 Mainly your fault for the way that you dance, and now I 0:36 Jizz in my pants. 0:37 Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut. Plus it's your fault you were rubbing my butt. 0:41 I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus. Now I'll go home and change. 0:45 I need a few things from the grocery, do things alone now mostly. 0:49 Left me heartbroken, not looking for love, surprise in my eyes when I looked above the checkout counter and I saw her face. 0:55 My heart stood still, so did time and space. Never thought that I could feel real again, but the look in her eyes said I need a friend. 1:01 She turned to me, that's when she said it, looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit, and I shizzed in my pants. 1:07 It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me, but we're going to need a cleanup on aisle 3. 1:11 And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I shizzed in my pants. 1:15 To be fair, you were flirting a lot, plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot. 1:19 Please stop acting like you're not impressed. One more thing I'm gonna pay by check. 1:22 Last week, I saw a film. As I recall, it was a horror film. Walked outside into the rain, checked my phone and saw you rang, and I 1:31 Chizd in my pants. 1:32 Speeding down the street when the red lights flash. Need to get away, need to make a dash. 1:36 A song comes on that reminds me of you, and I 1:39 Chiz in my pants. 1:40 Next day, my alarm goes off, and I 1:43 Chiz in my pants. 1:44 Open my window when a breeze rolls in and I 1:46 Jizz in my pants. 1:48 When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense, I jizzed in my pants. 1:52 I just ate a grape and I jizzed in my pants. 1:55 I went jizzed in my pants. 1:57 Seriously, you guys, can we, okay? 2:00 I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me, and when we're holding hands, it's like having sex to me. 2:08 You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy. I wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity. 2:15 Yes, I jizz in my pants. I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, I jizz. 2:21 Yes, I jizz in my pants. 2:24 I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants. 
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