3.3K views Sep 2009
This compilation of Tourette's Guy sketches follows a father whose explosive outbursts disrupt breakfast, family conversations, phone calls, and everyday mishaps.
0:00 Does it taste all right? 0:03 It's pretty good. 0:07 Who's the faggot with tuba? 0:08 That's our dad! 0:10 Watch your mouth. 0:11 Oh shit! Sorry! 0:14 Dad, there's nothing to eat for breakfast. 0:16 Some cereal right here. 0:18 Oh, that's total. I don't really like that. 0:22 Don't talk shit about total! 0:26 Dad, I heard he killed himself. 0:28 United States Air Force going 0:30 I'd kill myself too if my last name was Cole. 0:33 Oh, Bob Saget! 0:37 Oh, Bob Saget! 0:41 Oh, oh shit! Oh, Bob Saget! Oh shit! 0:48 Shit! Oh damn it! Shit! Shit! 0:55 Bitch! Bitch! Ah! 1:00 Oh, shit! Where's my fucking glasses? Where's the paper towels? 1:05 They're over here, Dad, in this bag. 1:07 Throw them over here! 1:09 Ouch! Motherfucker, give me the dick! 1:13 Sorry. 1:14 You're lucky it wasn't hard. 1:17 I mean, this thing, not my dick. 1:19 Dad, can we go get some Captain Crunch? 1:21 Fuck you, kid, you're a dick! 1:22 Dad. 1:23 You're a faggot! 1:24 He played Data on Star Trek. 1:27 Oh yeah, yeah. And I wonder what he's doing down there. 1:30 He's probably getting fucked in the ass. 1:32 Yes. It's about 10 minutes ago, a guy tried to break into my truck. 1:40 Yes, he's a long-legged, pissed off Puerto Rican. 1:43 Ah, shit! 1:48 Ah, shit! Damn it! 1:50 I heard she was a lesbian. 1:53 That's just mean she likes what I like. 1:56 Damn it, these fish sticks are hard as tits! 1:58 Whose tits you've been grabbing the feel hard? That's what I want to know. 2:02 Fuck you! 2:03 Men's asses. 2:04 I'm not talking this chicka shit bullshit. 2:08 That, is that a Mickey Mouse t-shirt? 2:10 The fuck are you talking about? 2:12 Well, his ears there, his ears, there's his face. 2:17 That's not Mickey Mouse, that says tit dirt! 2:21 Oh shit! Damn it! Fuck! 2:29 Oh shit! 2:30 I like to try to lock my home and buy shit! 2:35 Holy fuck! Damn it! Damn it! Get the fuck away, bitch! 2:52 Wait a minute, you dick! 2:55 I don't have a dick, you prick. 2:58 Carolina! Oh shit! 3:02 She's a bitch. 3:05 I called her a bitch right in front of her tits. 3:07 Danny, what do you want for breakfast? 3:10 Bacon and eggs, dear. 3:12 What? 3:13 Oh, for crying out loud! I said bacon and eggs! 3:17 I want to fuck her with my own ass. 3:19 I have to live in this hell hole! All you ever do is stay at home and play your kids and look at your ass at the same time. 3:31 Ah, ah, shit! 3:34 I'll kick you in the balls! 3:38 Bitch! I love you. 3:42 Shit! 3:44 Ah, shit! Shit! 3:49 Shit! What's all the damn noise? 3:52 The garbage disposal. 3:54 So much fucker taking a shit! 4:00 Shit! 4:02 Ah! Ah! Ah! 4:08 Fucking balls! 4:09 Oh, fuck you, you're grounded! 4:11 What for? 4:12 Because your thick garbage puzzle sounds like Chewbacca take a shit, that's why. 4:17 Bullshit! 4:17 You know what? You can suck my dick. 4:19 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 4:24 Holy shit! 4:25 Dad, there's some white stuff on the floor. 4:28 That's my ass! 4:31 Colgate Consumer Affairs. 4:32 Yes! I bought your Colgate toothpaste, the one with Tartar control, and it made me feel like a piece of shit! 4:41 I'll shove a can of Pringles on that preacher's ass. You have to tell him about it. 4:47 Keep it down, customer. 4:48 Oh, so sorry, dude, we're getting ready to go, man. 4:50 Oh, that's fine, I'm just with my girlfriend. 4:52 It's just a few things, so keep it down. 4:59 She has my. 5:00 Ass. I'd like to take fuck her ass. 5:03 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 5:07 Are you kidding me? 5:10 Fuck! Asshole! 5:13 Sorry. 5:14 You can't do shit with your balls. 
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