Billie Jean Literal Version

Shady detective. A garbage can, and a homeless man. I guess he's sleeping. Zoom in on me. I look concerned. Lick your lips. Here's a cup. Flip a coin. Fifty cents. Light the cup. Show the man in a tux. Bad dissolve. Detective drops paper on the street. It says Billie Jean. The shot gets choppy as he's running by Ronald's Drugs. Leaning back. Turn around. Here I come. I'm lighting up the garbage while shining my right shoe. Did a tiger just run out of my butt? Flash frame! Put the jacket on my shoulder. Then, flash back to the shoe. Now my coat is sliding off. It's more heavy than I thought. Cat just turned into a tiger. But I'm unphased. Lean on the light-up lamppost. Camera flash! Am I a ghost? Trenchcoat guy is confused. Fade to black, he's still confused. Just came alive from a photograph. Got a shoulder cramp. So, move this coat to my other hand, as I get down. Hit my groin, jacket's on, spin around. One more spin on these lights. Change the picture on this billboard twice. Change it twice! My collar's made from a tractor tire. Gonna raise it higher. If you don't like it, talk to the hand. Freeze frame my eyes. Photograph, loop the film, spin around. Now shoot me from the waist up. Then, get closer to my face. A full body shot, make a fist, and squat. Knee-kick the air! I don't know why I just did that. So, I jump onto my toes! Use handi-cam instead. And then, shots of someone's bed. Trenchcoat guy found my bandana. Hand in one pocket, make sure I have my keys. Grab my arm, and picture freeze. Duh nuh, elbow dance! Duh nuh, elbow dance! Who has two thumbs and likes B.J.'s? The answer, This guy! This guy likes Billie Jean. That's what I thought B.J. means. Tetanus shots make me sore. The detective turns once more. Hey, who's out there? I told you no wooing outside my building after. Don't you shush me Randy Jackson, all stars you. And stop lighting up my steps. I just had the tea lighted. Damn it! Stand beside this curtain. Old lady calls 9-1-1. Son of a... Inspector Gadget's at my window. He wants a shot of me in bed with someone. But I sleep with my clothes on. Watch me light up the bed while I fake a Jedi death. That girl still won't wake up. She must be tired. Peeping tom just got caught. You're going to jail, dude! Why's she on the billboard? Trenchcoat guy just got arrested. The homeless guy is gonna get some. Unless they're eaten by that tiger. My ghost feet light up the sidewalk. That bedroom scene was kinda pointless. I didn't even get to first base....