Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffBillie Jean Literal VersionDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share4.4K views Feb 2010A literal interpretation of the Michael Jackson music video featuring a very confused detective. Show transcript0:29Wow. Shady detective, a garbage can, and a homeless man. I guess he's sleeping.0:35Zoom in on me. I look concerned. Lick your lips, here's a cup, flip a coin.0:4450 cents, light the cup. Show the man in a tux, badges off.0:50Bad to solve.0:54Detective drops paper on the street. It's his villageina. The shot gets choppy as he's running by Ronald's drugs.1:04Lean back, turn around, here I come.1:10I'm lighting up the garbage while shining my right shoe. Did a tiger just run out of my butt?1:18Fresh rain.1:18Put the jacket on my shoulder, then flash back to the shoe. Now my coat is sliding off, it's more heavy than I thought.1:26Hey. Cat just turned into a tiger, but I'm unfazed.1:33On the night of lamppost, camera flash, am I a ghost?1:42Trenchcoat guy is confused. Face to dark, he's still confused.1:52Just came in light from a photograph, got a shoulder cramp, so move this coat to my other hand as I get down.2:01Hit my groin, jacket's on, spin around.2:06One more spin on these lights, change the picture on this billboard twice.2:13Change it twice.2:15Change it twice.2:16My collar's made from a tractor tire, gonna raise it higher.2:21If you don't like it, talk to the hand, freeze frame my eyes.2:26Photograph, let the film spin around, baby.2:32Now shoot me from the waist up to get closer to my face. A full body shot, make a fist and squat.2:39He kicked the air.2:40I don't know why I just did that, so I jump onto my toes, use handycam instead, and then shot someone's bed.2:49Trenchcoat guy found my bandana, hands in one pocket, make sure I2:56have my keys, grab my arm and picture freeze.3:02Elbow dance, gonna elbow dance. Who has two thumbs and likes BJ's?3:10The answer's this guy. This guy likes Billie Jean. That's what I thought BJ means.3:20Tensions make me sore. The detective turns once more.3:32Hey, who's out there?3:34Who?3:34I told you no wooing outside my building after. Don't you shush me, Randy Jackson, I'll shush you, and stop lighting up my steps.3:42I just had them de-lighted. Get it!3:45Stand beside this curtain. Old lady calls 911.3:51Son of a.3:55Inspector Gadget's at my window. He wants a shot of me in bed with someone.4:04But I sleep with my clothes on. Hee hee hee. Watch me light up the bed.4:11He told me to shush.4:12Like I fake a Jedi death.4:17That girl still won't wake up.4:19She must be tired.4:22Baby Tom just got caught.4:24You got jail, dude.4:26Why's she on the billboard?4:28Trisco guy just got arrested. The homeless guy is gonna get some, unless they're eaten by that tiger.4:40I might go see life up the sidewalk. That bedroom scene was kind of pointless.4:48I didn't even get to first base. Come on.
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