Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffHow To Report NewsDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share1.6K views Jan 2010Charlie Brooker humorously breaks down the formula for a standard news report, from filler footage and vox pops to charts and a wry sign-off. Show transcript0:00Before long, a standard news report visual language established itself, one that's immediately recognizable to anyone.0:06Me has this report. It starts here with a lackluster establishing shot of a significant location.0:14Next, a walkie-talkie preamble from the auteur pacing steadily towards the lens, punctuating every other sentence with a hand gesture and ignoring all the pricks milling around him like he's gliding through the fucking Matrix,0:26before coming to a halt and posing a question. What comes next?0:31Often something like this, a filler shot designed to give your eyes something to look at while my voice babbles on about facts.0:37Sometimes it'll slow down to a halt, turn monochrome, and some of those facts will appear one by one on the screen.0:43This is followed by the obligatory shots of overweight people with their faces subtly framed out, after which the report is padded out with a selection of lazy and pointless vox pops.0:52Um, usually get some inane chatter from people.0:56I think they do have too much. I think what we want to hear is actually what's happening and not what other people think of it.1:01I hate these same sound bites that that I I don't want some punter's opinion usually.1:08No.1:09Another bit of dull visual abstraction to plug another gap now before the report segues gracefully into a bit of human interest, courtesy of some dowdy man opening letters in a kitchen and explaining how he's been affected by the issue.1:20When I'm watching the news, I don't really, you know, there's a person talking to me, telling me what's going on, and I don't really listen to what they're saying.1:27It's just news. It's just news.1:30He unfortunately was boring, so to wake you up, this is an animated chart, this is a silhouette representing the average family, and this is a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam.1:39As we near the end of the report, illustrative shots of pedestrians and signs and a pipe at a window.1:44And then the final summary, ending on a whimsical shot of something nearby, accompanied by a wry sign off.1:51If you're lucky, a bit of wordplay fit for a king, or in other words, a regent's treat.1:56Charlie Brooker, Newswipe, London.
2:48
1:54
1:18
2:46
2:40
0:17
1:51
2:04
0:25
4:35
7:21
3:23