Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffJack ChopDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share25.5K views Nov 2009A man demonstrates a dangerous and messy pumpkin carving tool called the Jack-Chop. Show transcript0:00Hey, it's Nicola with the Jack Chop. You're gonna be in a great mood all day, 'cause you're gonna be jacking your fucking pumpkins away with the Jack Chop.0:06Fucking. You love jack-o'-lanterns, you fucking hate carving them.0:09It's Halloween, you got trick-or-treaters up the ass, your kids are running around like retards.0:13You ain't got time to be carving a motherfucking pumpkin, kid.0:16But with the Jack Chop, you can have a pumpkin carved in just minutes.0:19I'm fucking serious, dude. Watch this shit, all right? With regular knives, it can take forever.0:24They're not safe for kids, but watch how the Jack Chop slices right through the...0:28Oh, fucking whore! Yeah, you f-0:31Cut off your fucking finger? No fucking problem. Jack Chop. Now they're gonna charge you a dollar at the CVS for one of them fake plastic pumpkins, but with the Jack Chop, you can have a real one and be the baddest dude in Revere.0:43Now, when you're carving your jack-o'-lantern, you don't want it rolling around, falling down the steps, lighting your fucking kids on fire.0:48So all you's gotta do is lift it right up like this and put it down on the, put it right down on the fucking, put it on the.0:57Nah, I'm all right, I'm all right. What?1:02But you gotta watch out because some pumpkins are queer. Now it's time for the face.1:08A happy face, a scary face, or a syphilis face. Okay, here we go.1:15Now, all right, uh, sometimes depending on the pumpkin, the skin can be real tough, but here's the best part.1:21With the Jack Chop, all you's gotta do is wet the blade with a little spit.1:28Fucking cat! Fuck! Fuck, Bonick! I told you no fucking cats in the house!1:35Ah, that's fucking tender. Other knives, they get bacteria in them.1:38They make you cry. You're making me cry. Forget about it. But with the Jack Chop, there's nothing to clean, dude.1:44Watch this. One, and you're fucking done, kid. Now you got time to run to Dunkin's, rob a pharmacy, shoot some OCs, or drink a strawberry quick.1:54We're gonna make Halloween fun again, one pumpkin at a time.1:58And if you call now, you're not just gonna get the Jack Chop, we're gonna throw in a fucking glow stick, free.2:04Watch this. You take the fucking glow stick, you stick in your jack-o'-lantern, looks boss.2:10Oh, fuck! Give me a Percocet!2:12That's my eye. That's my eye. Eh. Come here, come here. Get over here.2:18C- c- get, get this thing. Take the... The Jack Chop sells for 19.95, but if you call in the next 20 minutes, 'cause you know we can't do this shit all day, you're gonna get the fucking glow stick free.2:28Here's how to order.2:29Call 555 Jack Chop. Call now and you'll get the fucking glow stick absolutely free.2:34When you call, ask about our layaway plan for people in Lynn.2:37Call 555 Jack Chop now.
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