1.4K views Nov 2008
A mock news report portrays Obama supporters lost and purposeless after his election victory, joking that their campaign obsession left them with empty lives.
0:09 Welcome back. We now continue our coverage of the terrible aftermath of Barack Obama's victory, which has left Obama supporters across the nation with nothing to talk about. 0:18 For an update, let's go to Jane Carmichael. Jane. 0:21 Thanks, Andrea. For the past year and a half, thousands of Obama's most obsessive supporters have devoted their every waking moment to the Obama campaign. 0:29 Last night they were celebrating his victory, but today they woke up to the cold realization that they have nothing to fill their pathetically empty lives. 0:37 This is Peter Kendeley. For months, he has talked about nothing but Barack Obama, turning unrelated conversations in coffee shops, bars, and elevators into discussions about the Democratic candidate's vision for America. 0:49 This morning, Kendeley's roommate found him in an almost comatose state. 0:52 Up until yesterday, he was so annoying that I wanted to kill him. 0:55 Now I just want my old condescending Obama-obsessed friend back. 0:59 Experts say some voters' fixation with the Obama campaign ran so deep they've lost the ability to process non-Obama related information. 1:07 Across the country today, authorities are reporting throngs of Obama supporters wandering without direction or purpose in streets and parks. 1:14 We've been here all day. I, I try to reason with them. Uh, they just keep telling me to check out some new Obama video on some Obama blog or something. 1:24 Many seem unable to understand that the campaign has ended. 1:27 You don't want to regret not voting. You want to make sure your paperwork is in on time and that you're registered in the state that you want to vote in. 1:31 You're not going to rest. We are not going to do anything until Barack Obama is the next president of the United States, and we, we are, we are full steam ahead until election day. 1:39 Jane, it just looks devastating out there. 1:41 Yes. 1:41 Who will take care of these people? 1:42 We, we really don't know. Many have already driven away their friends and family with months of endless praise for Obama's latest speech and constant reminders to vote. 1:50 Well, that does sound annoying. 1:52 Clearly, they have no friends, nothing to live for. 1:54 Right. What about Obama? Do you think he'll help these people? 1:56 No, absolutely not. 1:57 Really? 1:58 In fact, Obama has said that he finds his supporters, quote, so irritating, I can't even deal with it. 2:02 Well, do you see an end to all of this, Jane? 2:04 Well, you know, Andrea, I think a lot of people just hope these people will die. 2:07 I think you're right. 2:08 But, you know, worst case scenario is that someone with evil intent seizes control of them. 2:12 Sure. 2:12 They've proven their minds can be taken over by empty rhetoric. 2:15 So if someone were to come up with a catchphrase as simple and vague as yes, we can. 2:18 Oh, awful. They would have an entire army of extremely energetic, insufferably annoying, mindless pawns at their command. 2:24 Okay, well, we're going to be praying that that does not happen. 2:27 Thank you, Jane. 2:28 Sure, thank you. 2:28 Later in the hour, we'll tell you how to spot and avoid an Obama supporter by looking for clues on their messenger bag, and in other election news, the nation is preparing for an onslaught of obnoxious kids named Barack. 
