2.3K views Oct 2009
A comedic playthrough of Super Mario Bros. 2 follows Toad through strange worlds, tossing enemies, using warp cheats, and battling Birdo and other bosses.
0:00 Super Mario Brothers 2 for the NES. You get to play as Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Peach. 0:05 But we play as Toad because, as you all know, he gets all the bitches, so he's got big junk in his trunk. 0:10 Whoa, what the fuck is this? This is not the Mushroom Kingdom that we all know. 0:14 What are those? Those are Shy Guys. Look at this, boundaries, no boundaries. 0:18 You can go everywhere, everywhere. How do you kill enemies in this game? 0:22 No, you don't jump on them. That doesn't work. You pick them up and you throw them at each other. 0:25 You pick up vegetables from the ground. You don't eat them. You hurl them. 0:29 You fucking hurl them. Holy shit, potions to create doors and then the extra dimension of mushrooms. 0:35 Ah! And then there's cherries. Cherries give you, uh, I don't remember, actually. 0:39 The pow block do? Pow block go boom! It's a heart. Whoa, it's a one-off fucking shortcut! 0:45 Holy shit, they even have ninjas shaped as stars in this game. 0:49 No more Naruto for you. All those years of being a pole dancer paid off because now we get to climb up vines! 0:55 Holy shit, we're in the clouds! And what else would be in the clouds? 0:59 Not birds, Birdo! Yeah? Hey, what do you think? You threw your eggs back in her stomach. 1:03 You beat that bitch up. That's what you get for being pink. We don't like pink. 1:07 And what happens when you hit Birdo 3 times? Do it! No, you fail! 1:12 She dies and spits out an egg of crystals, and you go in the bird's mouth, you complete the level. 1:16 It doesn't make any sense. No slot machine for you, Toad. Ooh, look at that crazy dude on the magic carpet. 1:21 Let's hijack it. Key! Keys make faces come to life. They're evil. 1:27 They will chase you down until you're dead. Open that door. Get rid of him. 1:33 This might be over 10 minutes. This game even has bombs, explody bombs. 1:39 And guess what? At the end of every stage, you fight another Birdo. 1:41 Isn't it boring? Well, not until later. It gets less boring later. 1:45 And who the fuck plays video games normally? We use cheats. What kind of cheats? 1:50 Use a potion here, and guess what this does? This warps you. 1:52 Oh wait, pick up a coin. Now warp. Warp! Because warps are for hardcore motherfuckers. 1:59 Pick Toad again because everyone else sucks. Now we're in World 4. 2:02 We're still not in the Mushroom Kingdom. Where the fuck are we? 2:05 This is an ice world. I just spit all over the keyboard. Evil marshmallows! 2:10 What could be down here? Holy shit, a spaceship! Oh my god! Sudden dramatic music change. 2:16 I don't even know what those are. Oh, but look, no Birdo at the end of the stage. 2:21 Mmm! Holy shit, lottery! You lose! Oh boy, are you gonna love World 4/2? 2:29 You gotta keep constantly moving and ducking and dodging and ducking and dodging. 2:32 There's a lot of buzzy beetles, and you don't wanna get dodged by beetles because they're gonna hurt like hell. 2:35 Duck, dodge, run, run, keep going. You're gonna die. Don't stop the rock. 2:41 Can't stop it. No. Ye. Oh shit. Run. There's even whales in this game. 2:47 Look at those sly little whales. They're even wearing eyeliner. 2:51 What happens when you get 5 cherries? Look at that down there. 2:53 That's a star. You know what this means? It means super happy, awesome music. 2:58 Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da 3:04 da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da 3:12 da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da 3:18 da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Time now. 3:21 Oh my God, fireballs! Mmm, you see this Birdo? We don't got a fighter, we got a rider egg. 3:27 Da! And in every third stage of every world, you go to a castle where there's a boss at the end. 3:33 It's not Birdo. Mmm, shy guy riding time. I bet he enjoys it. 3:37 And how the hell does a shy guy walk on spikes anyways? And why is he so shy? 3:42 No Birdo now, only super secret fire bosses. 3:47 That is not how you do it. You think he's dead, but no, he splits up into little baby fireballs. 3:58 Whoa, plants can shoot fireballs. Even Shy Guy's riding ostriches. 4:03 Bombs! We even get to ride fish. Yes! Oh no, what's that? 4:09 A green birdo. And all it does is shoot fire. You're screwed. 4:13 Mm, but he prevailed. All hail to the Altar Crystal. Mm, mm, mm. 4:22 Hmm, what's this do? No, what do we do? We're falling. Avoid the spikes, Toad! 4:28 They'll pop your ass. Oh no. Now we know he plays the Toad because he gets all the bitches, but Luigi is needed for one stage, just one, for reasons. 4:39 Luigi jumps so high that he'll let us cheat. Mm, more warps! 4:46 To the final world! Mm! Mm, we're on the clouds again! Mm, we get to ride birds! 4:52 It's the final rocket ship you'll see for the rest of your life! 4:55 You're gonna die! Mm, made me feel good inside. We gotta build a bridge! 5:00 Why does my voice sound different? 5:06 Ah, I'm off tune. No! No! And it comes back! 7/2, the final level. 5:15 Don't do that! 5:18 Combo breaker! Take a good look because that's one of the last mushrooms you'll ever see. 5:24 Moving platforms for the loss. Holy crap, a bro, but we don't got to fight her. 5:29 Run! Run! This is the last Birdo you'll ever see. Why'd you do that? 5:34 She doesn't hold an egg crystal, but she holds a key. You think all's well? 5:38 You remember that angle gate? It's gonna kill you, run! You think that was the final boss? 5:43 You're wrong because there's warts. 5:48 He's a big fat ass frog. To beat him, you must choke him to death with vegetables. 5:55 It's hardcore. Ah! Mm, eat that, choke on it, bitch. 6:00 And guess what? He died. Don't touch him, though, he can still kill you. 6:04 You choke to death, bitch. And we beat the game, we get the credits. 6:07 The credits suck. Free those beetles. Ah, they're happy. 6:14 Contributor Toad because he gets all the bitches. All. Luigi got shit! 6:20 He just got a warp. No one cares about you! 6:24 And Peach is a skank! You wanna know the best part about this game, though? 6:29 It was all a fucking dream! That's not cool! That is not hardcore Mario! 6:36 You should die! You better wake up! You see me, I'll kill you! 6:43 Don't you not look at me! Then we get the cast of characters and enemies, but no one cares! 6:48 And why the fuck did they call Birdo Ostro? Why do they get that mixed up? 6:53 And that's Super Mario Brothers 2, the end, in a nutshell. It's super duper, well, kind of hardcore. 
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