Super Mario Land Rap

I'm going to the Mushroom Kingdom. I'm going to save the princess, bitch. I got a red hat, suspenders on. Wait, I guess I'm black and white in this. I got my fireballs bouncing, to hit ya dead in the jaw. Take the boss down 'cause he's breaking the law. Kick the turtle shell. Oh wait, shit, nah, they explode in this. Fuckin' burnt my balls. Now I'm small, and running like I just don't care. Jump in the plane and fly around in the air. Take Tatanga down, bitch, I ain't scared. Do you like Captain Lou and hit your face with a chair? It's the Goomba stompin', mushroom poppin' mustached man. Koopa clompin', body droppin', fireball in my hand. Run and jump, duck and slide to get the box on the other side. Breaking bricks with my fuckin' fist, bitch I'm coming inside. Through the castle, no hassle on my way to the end. Daisy went and got kidnapped again. It isn't Koopa but they might be friends. I'm gonna whomp you, motherfucker, don't even pretend. Race lines, fuckin' fireballs, fire. What's the lion doing in this game anyway? Go home. Motherfucker, rest this up. Skip that, motherfuckin' lion. Oh, Mario. I'm not the princess, I'm a bad guy, bitch. I just wanted to get your hopes up, man, forget it. Either way, I'm outta work. It's time to clock out. You got one more level. Goodbye for now. See ya. It's Kung Fu Land. I got fire in my hand for that weird jumpin' motherfuckin' Kung Fu man. If you don't like this track, I guess I understand, but I get to fight Wario in the next land so. Off to Daisy I go one more time. Get your hands off her, Tatanga, she's mine. Jump in the plane and fuckin' go for a ride. Shooting at motherfuckers as I fly by. Look at me, way up in the sky, collecting coins as I spit my rhymes. This Kung Fu faggot won't fuckin' die. Throw my fireball and hit him dead in the eye, bitch. What the hell, it's a fuckin' cloud! Dodge the lightning, shoot fire in his mouth. As he crumbles, I hear the rumble as the boss flies in. Let the final battle begin, motherfucker. Woah. That's a big ship you got there, sir. Mario, I hope you're ready to die. My spaceship shoots three balls at a time. Your aircraft can't compare to mine. You're never going to leave my castle alive. W-what the hell, man? Damn! What the fuck are you anyways? It's sad you never made it past these Game Boy games. So I'll laugh, dodge your bullets, shoot your spaceship in half, rescue Daisy and go take a nap, yeah. I'm here to stay, right behind this controller. I'll still play till the world is safe for you and me tonight. Day after day, if it takes forever, Daisy, I'll stay and hold your hand. Please, stay with me tonight.