Will Arnett hires a temp who is clearly lying about his qualifications for the job.
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Portland, Oregon. I am here. I am very excited about the new policies you are already putting in place. And, oh, actually, here is the kitchen. Every Friday we have Look, I don't really have time to waste. All right? I've got a 4 o'clock, my wax. I don't really give a shit where you heat up your noodles. Hey, guy, if I want to see you wear jeans, I'll go to your shitty house. Look, I don't really know what it is that you do here, nor do I give a shit. Okay. Point is, Global National bought this company and they spent a lot of money, so here is what we are going to do. I was recently in London. You know what they call a fucking shit house for over there? Madonna? Energy drinks. Can't get enough of it. It is like fucking crack to these people. Really? Who gives a shit? The point is, Global National took a majority stake in Thunder Muscle energy drinks, and I want to tap into that UK market. That is actually not what we do here at the So, I'm going to need one of you guys to head over there pronto, head this thing up. Well, that And I'm going to need this done tomorrow, preferably not a woman. I want somebody with some fucking balls. Hey, look here, asshole. No, no, no, no. You need me more than I need you. Let's get that clear. Listen to me, you silly little prick. Listen to me, you silly little prick. I make one phone call, and I'll have you selling rotten bananas in a Kazakhstan bus depot right across the way from Kazakhstan's best fucking banana sales. I can't do this. Listen to me. Those Kazaks will tell you a new pussy, asshole. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Love this fucking guy. Todd Margaret, he is a temp. He has no skills in international. Todd Margaret, he is perfect. Hey, glad to see you. Hey, there he is. Todd Brent Will's Global National just bought the company. Boy, do I have a proposition for you. Mr. Will, thank you Shut up, fuck-tard. How would you like to go to London and head up a satellite office there? Sell energy drinks to the UK. What? Here is the deal. I'm going to set you up with an office, an apartment, a credit card, all that shit. I can start you at 120 grand. Holy shit. 120,000 dollars? Hold on a second, Mr. Will. Why the fuck are you talking? 120k. That is just to start. We can talk about more based on performance. Yeah. Listen, I saw you on the phone out there. Pretty impressive stuff. You familiar with the UK market, with their culture, stuff like that? Oh, me? Me? Todd Margaret? Absolutely. I mean, it is one of those things where, you know, I I probably have uh um, because uh um, my dad is from Leeds, so we would spend the summers there and uh, yeah, I love it. I get along with everybody in England. That is not true. Great. So so maybe your dad can help us out with the Well, he is dead. So that won't happen. Uh, I should have said he was from Leeds, but it is so fresh. When did he pass away? Uh, a week ago. So you're going to have to be Hey, fuck-head, he said it was okay. Shut your fucking talk hole. So what, you got to bury the body, or? No, don't worry about it. No, not to worry, because it is not necessary, because there is no body. Well, I mean, we lucked out, and he was uh skydiving over the ocean, so that took care of it for us. Mr. Will, if I can Hey, asshole, I make one call to your boss and you're going to sell shitberries in an Uzbek bus station. Nice, right? Learned that one from you, guy. Bang it out. I'm serious, you are fired. Get the fuck out of here. Please don't speak, that's un You are fucking fired. Get the fuck out. Jesus Christ. Jesus, Todd Margaret, congrats, buddy. You are on your way to London. Wow. Wait. You don't have any family, right? No wife or kids? No. No pets, girlfriend, shit like that that I got to worry about? I need total commitment here. I got nothing. Look, I know this is sudden, but I got this amazing job offer to go to London and head up this office there.
