1.6K views Feb 2010
A fast-talking salesman tours a store filled with bizarre couches, lamps, tables, and decorations, pitching each ugly piece in a mock furniture commercial.
0:01 Ugly furniture. That's right, we've got it all here. Look at these couches. 0:07 Look at them, they're great, they're leather. Who wants to sit on them? 0:09 Not me. Looking for ugly furniture? Well, then you've come to the right place. 0:13 Just ugly, ugly furniture. 0:16 Ugly furniture. 0:18 Hang this on your wall. That'll get people talking. Oh man, wow, look at that thing. 0:24 I wish it was not on the wall. How about a teardrop filled with frog eggs? 0:29 You know you need one. Every house does. Want an ugly table to put ugly stuff on? 0:33 We've got that. We will not be undersold, especially on pink genie bottles. 0:38 How about a random black guy plucking out a jive lick? Not exactly ugly, but kind of weird. 0:43 Always wanted one of these? Well, we've got 2. You can have them both. 0:47 Believe it or not, most of this stuff came to us this way. Hang this from your ceiling because 1982 said so. 0:53 Ho ho, that is one geometrically sound centerpiece. What does that mean? 0:57 I don't know, but look at this. 1:02 Okay, sure. Want to fancify your living room? Then buy this couch covered in plastic, never sit on it, and don't allow anyone in the room. 1:10 Now you've got a parlor. Hey, space lamp, want to live inside my Earth house? 1:15 Thanks. How about an ice sculpture that never melts? You know why? 1:19 Because it's not really ice. Some people ask, hey, why do you have a Winona Judd poster in your store? 1:24 And to them I say, have you forgot the name of the store? 1:28 Uppy Furniture. 1:30 Miss the beach? Put this on your sun porch. It's just like being there. 1:33 If you hold your ear up to it, you might get a greasy mark on the glass. 1:37 How about a crystal butterfly? Wish you could have it? Ooh, but you can't. 1:41 Sold out. 1:42 Uppy Furniture. 1:44 Located on the corner of King of Prussia Boulevard and Tri-State Area Street. 1:49 Ugly Furniture. 1:51 Furniture so ugly, you won't even want to put your ass on it. 1:56 Open Sundays. 
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