WoW Intervention

Yeah buddy, come on in. Party is in here. There is a party in here. Yeah, yeah, come on in. Hey guys. I wasn't expecting to see you here. Hello, Rusty. Who are you? I'm going to be up-front with you. This isn't a party. Then what is this? It's an intervention. Your friends have asked me to come here today to talk to you about how much time you spend playing World of Warcraft. That's not necessary. I don't spend that much time playing it. We know. That's the problem. We hardly ever see you online anymore. It's like you've dropped off the face of Azeroth. Inviting you to this fake party in the real world is the only way that we could talk to you. And you know how hard it is for Michael to go out into the real world. I don't like to go outside. We're supposed to be guild members. They used to mean something to you. Hold on. Hold on. Before we get too accusatory, why don't we let Rusty explain himself. I got a girlfriend. What? What? But like, like on Second Life or something? No, a real one. No. Oh, this is horrible. It's actually pretty cool. I enjoy having a real girlfriend. Ew. Dude. Ew. What's her crit rating? She doesn't have a crit rating. I don't understand. He's talking about an actual girl, like me. I thought you were an elf. Your behavior is upsetting your friends. Shouldn't a psychologist be encouraging me to step away from virtual worlds? I'm not a psychologist. I'm from Blizzard Entertainment. See, your subscription is up in two weeks and we'd like you to renew your contract. Just sign here. Guys, I'm sorry. I have to go. No, I won't let you. I'm going to teleport all of us to another major city. I must be out of mana. Give me that. If you go through that instance, you will never be able to join us in a dungeon raid ever again. These people are messed up. I'm going home. Kryal-gor! But Kryal-gor is a level 80 orc warrior. If you want to leave this room, you have to go through him. Kryal-gor is a 36-year-old video store clerk named Carl. And the only reason he was the first member of our guild to make it to level 80 is because he spends his entire day playing WoW, eating chipwiches, and masturbating. If loving chipwiches is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Rusty, if you would just take a look at the monitor. That's my account, and my login and password are already typed in. In front of you, you have a keyboard and a cell phone. On the keyboard, you can play World of Warcraft. On the cell phone, your girlfriend is calling you. What will you choose? You've been AFK for way too long. Yeah! I'm back! I can't get a hold of him. You sure you don't want to try him again? No, it's for the best that he didn't pick up. A threesome probably would have strained the relationship anyway. I guess it's just the two of us.