1.7K views Jan 2009
A sarcastic infomercial mocks a backwards-worn blanket robe, showing people using it for everyday tasks while listing absurd side effects and features.
0:00 Tired of using regular blankets like this asshole? Do they somehow destroy your heating bills? 0:05 Do you struggle when trying to figure out how to put them on? 0:08 Are mundane tasks like answering the phone now impossibly difficult? 0:11 Well, morons, now there's hope with the new What the blanket, the blanket that'll ruin your sex life. 0:16 Now you can answer the phone with confidence. Awesome. Help Grandpa enjoy the O'Reilly factor. 0:22 Spoiler alert, Snape kills Dumbledore. Your dad will blog about how comfortable he is. 0:26 I can't believe a black man's president. 0:28 The What the blanket is made of the exact same materials regular blankets are, but looks twice as retarded. 0:34 Basically, it's a robe that you wear backwards. The What the F*** blanket will turn you into a complete shut-in that never leaves the house. 0:40 So color a book, drink some tea, and hold a baby. You know, things you couldn't do with a regular blanket. 0:45 And don't worry, one size fits all, so creepy dads can lie in a seductive pose. 0:51 With the What the F*** blanket, you can take your dog and roast him on an open fire. 0:54 Ruin your child's self-esteem and wear it in public. Sarah's not getting a date for the prom, look at her. 0:59 So whether you're reading the obituaries or viewing scrambled porn or clogging your arteries or telling a racist joke, you will look like a tool. 1:07 Believe it or not, some dumbasses have paid as much as 60 bucks for the What the Blanket, which kind of makes me want to scream. 1:12 Available in blueberry, mint, and blood flavors. Call now and receive a free flashlight? 1:19 Why would you need a flashlight with your blanket? And she doesn't even need it. 1:22 Look, you can see the text from here. She's reading it in broad daylight. 1:25 What the he- 1:28 Damn it. 1:29 Side effects of the what the blanket include, but are not limited to heart failure, herpes, social awkwardness, never getting laid, looking like a dick, super herpes. 1:37 The what the blanket. Just... 1:41 just give up. 
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