2.2K views Mar 2010
A whale claims to be depressed before attempting a robbery, then he and his target trade increasingly absurd claims about being undercover cops and a fry cook.
Show transcript0:03 Hey, Mr. Whale, what's going on? 0:05 Well, to be honest, I'm feeling kind of depressed. 0:08 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried swimming around? 0:12 Yeah, I tried swimming around. 0:14 Have you tried eating some plankton? 0:16 Yeah, I tried eating some plankton. 0:19 Well, I guess that's about all a whale can do, huh? 0:21 Yep, and none of it helped. I'm still all depressed. And you know what else? 0:26 What's that? 0:27 This is a robbery. Give me your goddamn money. 0:29 Whoa, this is taking a turn. 0:30 I said give me your money, bitch. 0:31 I don't understand what's going on here. 0:33 I'm not depressed. That was a ruse. Hell, I don't even know if whales can get depressed. 0:37 All right, all right, I don't want any trouble. 0:38 You're damn right you don't want any trouble. I'm a whale. You know how big whales are? 0:43 People use whale as like a synonym for goddamn gigantic. That's how big whales are. 0:47 All right, all right, but there's, uh, something I should tell you. 0:50 I'm an undercover cop. This is a sting. 0:52 Oh man, that's some crap. 0:54 So how's this going to play out? The easy way or the hard way? 0:57 I ain't go to jail, man. You know what they do to whales in jail? 1:00 Nothing, because whales are goddamn humongous, but it's still an inconvenience. 1:04 Well, maybe we can work something out off the record. 1:07 I would appreciate that. I got tickets to Phantom of the Opera tomorrow. 1:10 How about you give me whatever cash you've stolen, and we can pretend this never happened. 1:14 That sounds reasonable. Well, except I ain't a robber. I'm an internal affairs officer investigating police corruption. 1:20 Well, then have I got a surprise for you. I'm not a cop. I'm a fry cook at Steak 'n Shake. 1:25 I'll be honest, I don't fully understand where that leaves us.