Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffArlington RapDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.5K views Jun 2009A man raps about Arlington as a tough town, joking about its coffee shops, condo fees, parking tickets, Metro delays and suburban routines. Show transcript0:01Yo, I just moved to a new hood.0:03New hood.0:05And it's straight up gangster.0:06That's right. Wait, what?0:09Let me show you around.0:11My town. People all around better know the deal that the people in this town all get old for real.0:18So when people tell me, Remy, where you calling from, I say a straight up thug town called Arlington.0:24Yo, it's a real tough town. I'm packing heat and boat shoes.0:27My crib's in a rough spot right next to the Whole Foods. Ducking gunfire daily, I check to see if one got me, but that's just life in the hood when I go and get my puff kashi.0:36But no, we never do drugs, no, 'cause that's not me. The only thing high up in here are my condo fees.0:42Welcome to Arlington, the town that never fizzles. Ballston, Roslyn, Courthouse, the clizzle dizzle.0:49So many places to choose from, you're gonna like to pick. I'm in Courthouse so much, man, they call me Michael Vick.0:55The girls at Rising all got money, yeah, they all could pay the bills.0:58But that's all our film at Rising, I hate walking up these hills.1:01And we kind of got them all, yeah, you know you can't stop us.1:04Got everything but nothing good, man, it's kind of like Toppas.1:08Just try to mess with us, I'll shoot you right in the foot, punk.1:11Just don't come on Tuesday nights, that's when I meet with my book club.1:14Hey, I don't really read. When I buy a book, it may be causal.1:17Ah, you read Salinger?1:18No, my kitchen table wobbled. Ducking down instinctively, and gunshots were mired.1:23Wait, never mind, someone's German car backfired.1:26Ho, ho, ho.1:26You think you're leaving alive? Yeah, you do, but I don't buy it.1:29I'm gonna eliminate you like I did gluten from my diet.1:32Come and see me in the alley, run or be with tuition.1:35I'm busting out my fighting moves like the fetal position. But first I need some cover, need some help, y'all, this way.1:42Cover? You need backup?1:43No, punk, it's for my duvet. Straight thug hood getting mugged on to Coco, but mugging here is when a stranger comes and gives you cocoa.1:51Got a lot of bad girls and a lot of tough dudes. Our school of hard knocks was written up in US News.1:57We got dudes in brown flip flops, dudes in brown flip flops.2:01Holy crap, why are these dudes wearing brown flip flops?2:03Welcome to A Town.2:04People all around better know the deal that the people in this town are ghetto for real.2:09So when people tell me, Remy, where you calling from, I say a straight up thug town called Arlington.2:165 PM I hit the gym, even if I'm feeling crabby. First I walk my tiny dog with the little plastic baggie.2:22Stretch in front of folks around me so they know that I'm invested.2:25Press the button for the lobby, even if somebody pressed it.2:28I go jogging at a reasonable pace, and when I get to intersections, man, I jog in place.2:35Up and goes Jim, gonna give it my all, son.2:38So many dudes in here, they should call this ball.2:41Rolling one deep so everybody can see us. Cruising down Wilson, rocking tens on my Prius.2:47Get out my car, check my shoe and sock a minute. Stand right back up, I got 7 parking tickets.2:53In DC from the get-go, head to the metro.2:56You heading to Whitlow's?2:57Hmm, maybe, I guess so. Ride is never boring, I say it's never better than riding on an Orange Line train to Vienna.3:05You better step back, punk, that's your final warning.3:08You gonna punch me?3:09No, son, the doors are closing.3:11Hey yo, what's with this delay? I can't wait for this. Why'd they pick today to do the track maintenance?3:18Now we're stuck in the city. How we getting back, son?3:21We could take the green line.3:24Um.3:26So we're taking a taxi back to our gangster world, where the sidewalks are brick and the streets are curved.3:32So if you think you got the cred and you think your toughness got me, come and see me in my town and we'll grab a cup of coffee at the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or3:46the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks, on the Starbucks, on the Starbucks, on the Starbucks.3:54Ah, quizzel dizzle.
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