Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffBro RapeDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.3K views Sep 2008A fake news report investigates a satirical “bro rape” epidemic, confronting men who meet a decoy online and arrive with suspicious bags. Show transcript0:00Bro, this party's awesome, bro.0:02Yeah, dude.0:03Yo, dude, I got some scotch. You want to drink some scotch before the party?0:05Yeah.0:06Yeah, all right.0:07Yeah, let's do it, bro.0:07Drink as much as you can because you want to hide it before anybody else sees it, okay, bro?0:11All right, bro, I'm going to take your pants off, okay?0:13Wait, what?0:13Bro, this is going to be awesome, bro.0:15No, no, no, dude, don't take my pants off.0:17All right, all right, dude, go lay down on the bed.0:19No, no, no, bro, I'm not going to lay down on the bed.0:20Bro, go lay down on the bed. Yo, this is going to be awesome, yo.0:24There you go, bro. All right, cool. Lay down on the bed.0:26No, dude, what are you?0:28All right, bro. Yo, this is gonna be sweet, all right? Wish me luck.0:31No, bro. Bro, bro, stop.0:36It's a type of rape that's gone overlooked for decades, and it's risen 44% in the last year.0:42I'm talking, of course, about bro rape. What is a bro? A bro is an 18 to 24 year old male who, who wears Birkenstock sandals, watches Family Guy, plays Ultimate Frisbee, and wears an upside down visor or a baseball cap with a pre-frayed brim.0:57You know, a bro. For every suburban house party, 4 bros will be raped, and only 1 in 7 bros will tell their boys what happened the next day.1:07As a result, most bro rapes go unreported.1:10So it was my friend Jake's birthday party, and we're playing paintball and whatever, and then we go back to Tim's house to get a little drunk, and Tim brings out some beers, and I turn around to get my bottle opener.1:20When I turn back around, there's a Jack Johnson album next to my beer, and I was like, whose is this?1:25I love Jack Johnson. And Tim's like, oh, me too. I love him too.1:29Let's go up to my room and talk about it.1:31Internet chat rooms for bands like Dave Matthews, Jack Johnson, and Incubus have proven to be a hotbed for bro predators looking to prey on unsuspecting bros with phrases like chill,1:40or dude, let's just chill, or hey bro, we're chilling. You want to get some beers and chill?1:47Me and my film crew went to one of these chat rooms and posed as a 20-year-old bro named Chad.1:52After a week or so, we lured some of these bro predators into our dorm room to chill.1:57There they were confronted by our film crew, who forced them to explain themselves.2:03Excuse me, sir, I'm David Foster from Newsline. Can I ask you a few questions?2:07Where's Chad? Is this Chad's room?2:09There is no Chad. We posed as a bro in an internet chat room.2:13Can you explain what you're doing here?2:14Just gonna watch some DVDs, talk about bands. I was gonna tell Chad how not cool it is to invite bros he meets on the internet to his dorm.2:24It's unsafe.2:25Can I see your bag?2:27Yeah, sure.2:28What's in here, sir?2:29Nothing.2:29Mm-hmm. 6-pack Natty Ice.2:32Get thirsty a lot. I get thirsty.2:35Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.2:37Such an underrated movie. That's totally2:40Big Black Dildo.2:42Xbox.2:44I mean, it's easy. It's too easy. I mean, they didn't want to get raped, they wouldn't walk around the way they do with their pop collared shirts and their live strong bracelets, their Abercrombie water polo t-shirts.2:58I mean, the Fish Farewell Tour?3:01That was like an all-you-can-rape buffet.3:08Hey, um, I was looking for, uh, Chad.3:11Hi, I'm David Foster from Newsline.3:13What?3:13Can you explain what you're doing here?3:15Uh, yeah, uh, uh, I came here to, uh, meet up with Chad. We were gonna study sciences.3:20And you met Chad over the internet, is that right?3:22Yeah, uh, yeah, I mean, he seemed like a, a, a pretty cool bro, you know what I mean?3:28A pretty cool bro?3:28No.3:29Bro, you just said he was a cool bro.3:30No, I did not, I did not say bro. I was gonna say, I was gonna say something else, like bro, uh, there's3:36But, uh, so you didn't come here to bro out or, quote, chill with the bros and kick back.3:42No, no, I mean, he didn't even, I didn't even really take him for a bro.3:46I came here strictly to, you know, study sciences.3:48Can I read you an instant message conversation?3:51I mean, I guess.3:52Between3:53You must.3:53Family Guy Fan 84, and is that your screen name?3:57Yeah. I mean,3:59Conversation. conversation between you and Chad Bro Chill 17.4:03That's weird. I never heard that name.4:04So, Chad,4:05Chad part.4:06Let's chill and play GameCube. By the way, bro, I always take my pants off to play GameCube, so I hope that's cool.4:14I don't, uh, I have no recollection of typing those, those words.4:20Can we, can we see what's in your bag? Can we, can I take a look in your bag?4:23Can we see what's in your bag?4:24I don't have a bag. Can we take a look in your bag?4:26Yeah, why would I care? Of course, there's nothing in there that a normal American doesn't have in his bag that he would care.4:31A can of Axe body spray.4:33I like to smell like an axe. That's not my fault. I mean, like, who d- like a4:37A Dane Cook CD.4:38You are not an American if you don't love Mr. Cook. I don't unders-.4:43A GameCube game system.4:44Yeah, it's shaped like a cube, and you can play games on it.4:47I don't understand what the problem4:48And a big black dildo.4:52Okay, um...4:56Look, you, you ca- I have bros at home that can't find out about.5:00This, okay, this is, this is, this is wrong, what you're doing here, okay?5:04It's not my fault, okay? I know, I know that I have a problem, okay?5:08I, I know that I have a problem. I g- I live on campus, and, and it, it's hard because there's windows there in the buildings that I'm staying in, and I'll look out of these windows,5:19and there'll be bros walking by, and it's not my fault that if I, if I think about, you know, what they would look like soapy and wet, like, that's not my fault that I want to make this is,5:28this is crazy, okay? Why, why would you do this?5:31Sir, the police are outside.5:32Why are the police outside? Why are the police outside? They should be inside.5:36They should be inside a police station looking at the prints from fingers, okay?5:41That they're they they're there is no crime here, okay? The only crime is that me and Chad are not having a great time right now.5:48Sir, you can't take the stuff.5:49Why can't I take it with me? It's mine, it's mine. This is my stuff, okay?5:54This is ridiculous, okay? You are a bad man, and you are the friend of a bad man.5:58This is no good.5:59The police are outside.6:00Tell Chad, why are the police outside? Tell Chad, just tell Chad.6:04There's no Chad. There's no, there's no Chad.6:05Why is there no Chad?6:07You're just so pumped to be with the bros, and everyone's just cheering, and you're so excited.6:13You don't even realize I just gave these guys 4 blowjobs, you know?6:19Excuse me, sir?6:20Yeah, you, you Chad?6:21No, I'm not Chad. I'm from Newsline. Can I ask you a few questions?6:24Yeah, until Chad gets here. That's a camera.6:27Hey, camera.6:28We're doing an investigative report on bro rape.6:31Oh, oh, that's bad stuff. I, I don't do it. No, I'm against it.6:35You don't really? You don't do it?6:36No, I don't do it.6:37You came here in your boxers with beer and video game equipment.6:40You're telling me you weren't planning on bro raping this Chad?6:43No, I wasn't. No.6:47So is, uh, is Chad coming?6:48No, no, not at all.6:49Is Chad coming? No, he's not. Am I fucked? Am am am I f- I'm fucked, aren't I?6:54The police are, the police are waiting outside.6:57So Chad's not even coming.6:58Can I, can I see what's in your bag?7:02This bag is filled with black dildos.7:04Yeah, those are for Chad. Those were Cha- You want to play GameCube?7:07We can play Ga- I got some natty ice. We can just, you know, roll it up.7:10I'm not a bro.7:12Didn't think you were.7:13No.7:16Did you, did you pour Axe body spray on this dildo?7:19Like a can and a half.7:23So Chad's not even real. You guys just, you played me like a sap for the big scoop.7:30There are many efforts being made to combat the rising trend of bro rapes in America, but the problem of stopping bro rape entirely has never been phrased more perfectly than by one of the bros' biggest heroes,7:42Dave Matthews. He writes, people in every direction, no words exchanged, no time to exchange, and when all the little ants are marching, red and black antenna waving, they all do it the same.7:58They all do it the same way. I'm David Foster. Good night.
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