1.5K views Nov 2009
A fake Ford spokesperson pitches the 1993 Taurus as an affordable car for people in debt, highlighting its basic features and laughably sparse optional upgrades.
0:00 We're proud to unveil Ford's new vision for the future of automobiles in this country, an innovative concept vehicle that fits the needs of all Americans. 0:08 I present to you the car for the modern age, the 1993 Ford Taurus. 0:12 With a 3.1 liter V6 engine, a functioning exhaust system, and a working battery, the 1993 Ford Taurus is a car for everyone who can come up with 650 dollars in cash. 0:24 The 93 Taurus was designed by talking directly to Americans themselves. 0:28 They told us, we don't need all the bells and whistles. We want a car that can take us from our mother-in-law's house to the unemployment office and back. 0:36 But you don't have to take my word for it. Let's hear from some of the drivers who have already pre-ordered their 93 Taurus. 0:43 Basically, I just need a car, and the 93 Taurus is one. 0:47 Um, I like that it's heat and air conditioning so my family can live in it year round. 0:51 Buyers can also customize their Taurus to fit their lifestyle with optional upgrades like working brake lights, a rear view mirror, seat belts, and doors that lock. 1:00 Each 93 Taurus also comes standard with a Primus cassette tape of their hit album, Sailing the Seas of Cheese, and plenty of space in the glove compartment for cans of tuna and cup of noodle to eat. 1:12 Here's a sneak preview of the ad Ford will be running during this season's Super Bowl. 1:23 We encourage everyone to come down to their local Ford dealership today to check out the 93 Ford Taurus. 1:29 Remember, the dealerships are heated in the winter, have clean bathrooms, and there's a bowl of free candy at the front. 1:36 Thank you. 
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