1.7K views Jun 2009
Trevor Moore delivers a satirical monologue about laws restricting threats against the president, escalating from wordplay to a secret group’s password.
0:00 Hi, I'm Trevor Moore. Did you know that it's illegal to say I want to kill the President of the United States of America? 0:07 It's illegal. It's a federal offense. It's one of the only sentences that you're not allowed to say. 0:12 Now, it was okay for me to say it right then because I was just telling you that it's illegal to say I want to kill the President of the United States of America. 0:24 I'm not actually saying it, I'm just letting you know that it's illegal to say that. 0:28 It's kind of like a public service. I'm letting you know so that you don't accidentally go out and say something like that. 0:34 Um, but what's interesting is that it's, it's very illegal to say, 0:40 I really, really think someone out there should kill the President of the United States of America. 0:47 That's illegal, extremely illegal, very, very illegal, but not illegal to say with a mortar launcher, because that's its own sentence. 0:57 It's an incomplete sentence, but it may have nothing to do with the sentence before that, so that's perfectly fine, perfectly legal. 1:04 I also found out that it's incredibly illegal, extremely illegal to go on television and say something like the best place to fire a mortar launcher at the White House would be from the roof of the Rockefeller Hewitt Building because of minimal security, 1:17 and you'd have a clear line of sight to the president's bedroom. 1:19 Insanely illegal, ridiculously, recklessly, insanely illegal, yet even more illegal to show an illustrated diagram. 1:29 Insanely illegal, ridiculously, horribly felonious, because they will come to your house in the middle of the night and they will lock you up, extremely against the law. 1:37 Uh, one thing that is technically legal to say is that we have a group that meets Fridays at midnight under the Brooklyn Bridge, and the password is Six Emperor Tyrannus. 
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