Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffKids A ChampDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share1.3K views Nov 2009A school meeting over a boy’s inappropriate Valentine’s cards spirals into an absurd argument as his father and teacher defend his creativity. Show transcript0:02Hey, can we make this quick? I'm on my lunch break.0:05Thanks for coming, Mr. Vesser. I- I'm sorry for the short notice, but I got a call from Miss Matheson here, and I thought we should all speak, so thank you.0:13Um, as you know, the children were making Valentine's Day cards for each other, and some of them were not keeping to what I expected.0:21What do you mean?0:22She means this. Have you seen the card your son gave my Claudia?0:27Oh, that's nice.0:30It's a vagina with the words, I wish I was here on it.0:34Yeah, it's a compliment.0:35It's filth. Where did your son learn that language?0:38I don't know, boning, I guess.0:40You should be ashamed of yourself.0:41Miss Matheson, civility, please. I- is that elbow macaroni he used for the clitoris?0:47No, I think it is.0:48I don't care if you used two quarters and a ball of yarn.0:51Why would he use two quarters and a ball of yarn? Is that what your clitoris looks like?0:55I'm sorry, am I missing something?0:56Yes, you're missing something. The point. I took the liberty of collecting some of Jeremy's other Valentine's cards.1:02Um, okay, look at this one. Dear Sarah, I don't really care if they say you have cooties.1:09I bought a rubber, now give me that booty.1:13Oh, it's a pirate card. I get it.1:15Oh, goodness.1:16Exactly.1:18I didn't realize it until you just read that aloud, but Jeremy's writing in iambic pentameter.1:23That's so amazing. Do you have Jeremy in any special programs, Mr.1:27Vesser?1:27We do watch a lot of A&E together and pornography.1:30Ugh, this is madness. I demand that Jeremy be removed from this class as to not taint the other children.1:36Taint.1:37Miss Matheson, I assure you such extreme action will not be necessary.1:42Oh, really? Okay, how about this springtime card? It says, uh, dear Teddy, do you know the real secret about the birds and the bees?1:49And then on the back it says, they were both dudes. This is condoned perversion.1:53It's hideous.1:54It is.1:55Thank you.1:56Mr. Besser, I apologize. Miss Matheson, I don't tolerate homophobia in my classroom.2:02If Jeremy feels comfortable expressing his feelings, I'm not going to let narrow-mindedness get in his way.2:07You make me sick.2:08Oh, this is ridiculous. What, what about on the back it says, do you want to reach around?2:14And then there's a little box for yes or no. What do you call that?2:17Courtesy. You ever heard of it?2:19What about this? It's just, it's just a blank piece of paper with the word tits on it.2:22You don't have a problem with that?2:25I find nothing objectionable about this.2:27Terse, crisp, honest. I think it was Hemingway who said that the job of the writer is to write the truest sentence he knows.2:36My boy knows tits.2:37You both disgust me. I'm going to the board about this.2:43Well, sorry. If wanting the children to learn is wrong, then I don't want to be right.2:49Hey, some people would rather stay in the dark ages where nobody reads and kids don't have sex with each other.2:55It's crazy, I know, but there it is.2:58Mr. Besser, while I apologize for Miss Matheson's behavior, there is something troubling I need to discuss with you.3:04Because these cards show so much maturity, I find it hard to believe that Jeremy didn't have some help at home.3:12You know, it is against school policy to do a child's report.3:14All right, I can't believe you're saying this. Jeremy slaved away with glitter and lube for hours.3:20Really? Well, then why did it take him 3 tries to find my G-spot?3:34Just kidding. He nailed it on the first try. That kid's a champ.3:42You're good. You, you teach him well.3:44Because he's great with his sister.3:48Those aren't muskets.
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