1.8K views Apr 2009
During a performance review, an employee boasts about being the boss and describes an increasingly absurd, chaotic day before insisting he is in charge.
0:07 Mr. Sandberg, thanks for coming to your performance review. 0:09 No problem. 0:10 So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say? 0:13 Absolutely, I'm the boss. 0:14 Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss. 0:17 Well, the first thing I do is talk to corporate, approve memos, lead a workshop, remember birthdays, direct workflow, my own bathroom, micromanage, promote synergy, hit on Deborah, 0:33 get rejected, swallow sadness, send some faxes, call a sex line, cry deeply, demand a refund, eat a bagel, harassment lawsuit, no promotion, fist of vodka, shit on Deborah's desk, buy a gun in my mouth. 0:54 Oh fuck me, I can't fucking do it, shit. 0:57 Pussy out, puke on Deborah's desk, jump out the window, suck a dude's dick, score some coke, crash my car, suck my own dick, eat some chicken strips, chop my balls off, black out in the sewer, 1:13 meet a giant fish, fuck his brains out, turn into a jet, find the Russians, crash into the sun, now I'm dead. 1:23 Uh-huh. So that's an average day for you then? 1:27 No doubt. 1:28 You chop your balls off and die. 1:30 Hell yeah. 1:31 And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick? 1:35 Nope. 1:36 Actually, I'm pretty sure you did. 1:38 Nah, that ain't me. 1:39 Okay, well, this has been eye-opening for me. 1:42 I'm the boss. 1:43 Yeah, I know, I got that. You said that 400 times. 1:46 I'm the boss. 1:46 Yeah, yeah, I got it. 1:47 I'm the boss. 1:48 Okay, great, I heard you. Bye. 1:51 Like a boss. 1:55 Oh. 
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