1.4K views Jan 2010
A satirical news panel discusses absurd abortion restrictions, including naming a baby, painting a nursery, and donating a kidney before the procedure.
0:11 I'm Gregory Dawson, sitting in for Clifford Baines, who was accidentally erased. 0:15 On the heels of states which have passed abortion laws requiring the viewing of an ultrasound, Arkansas has enacted a new law that requires women to name their unborn baby and paint a nursery for it before undergoing the procedure. 0:26 Should other states adopt similar abortion laws? 0:28 Of course they should. It's just common sense that viewing an ultrasound image of a fetus and then painting a nursery either pink or blue helps give women the information they need to be sure they're making the right decision. 0:37 Exactly. We have to support women through this process. Naming their unborn child is part of that. 0:42 Yes, and and if a woman clears out a room in her house and assembles a crib and buys 3 toys for the child and a few other simple steps and then decides that she wants to purge that baby from, 0:51 uh, her womb, then she can. 0:52 But I'm worried that the law doesn't go far enough in helping these women. 0:54 How so? 0:55 Well, because during the mandatory 3-week reflection period after the nursery is painted, 0:58 Mm-hmm. 0:59 the woman could just close the door and not even look at it. 1:00 That is true. 1:01 Yeah, she should be required to sit in the nursery at least an hour per day, surrounded by baby booties and pacifiers, so she won't regret rushing into a decision later. 1:08 Yep. 1:08 Now, some critics say that this law may be too time consuming for many women to comply with. 1:12 I agree, it's too complicated. Simply requiring women to watch a computer simulation of their baby, what it would have looked like saying, I love you, mommy, would have been enough. 1:20 These extra measures are simply taking valuable time away from our medical professionals. 1:24 Makes sense, like the provision that requires nurses to follow women around with a giant boombox that plays the sound of children's innocent laughter over and over again. 1:30 But those studies show that these extra steps actually make the laws work better. 1:34 Yeah. 1:34 For example, the Missouri law requiring pharmacists dispense birth control in a blood red container with a skull on it, while eerily chanting God have mercy on us in Latin, has actually increased how careful teens are about sex. 1:45 Absolutely. 1:46 Similarly, Texas this week started a so-called take a life, save a life program, ordering women to give a kidney while undergoing an abortion. 1:52 And it's a great program. 1:53 Yeah. 1:53 Look, if a woman isn't ready to have her kidney removed, then it's clear that she has doubts about getting an abortion. 1:58 It also gives the women so many choices. If they don't want to give a kidney, they can just opt to donate all the blood in their body. 
