Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffSnatch WarsDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.9K views Aug 2009A foul-mouthed Darth Vader faces rebels and Imperial officers in a mashup of Star Wars scenes and dialogue from the crime comedy Snatch. Show transcript0:01Lord Vader. Lord Vader.0:03Put a lead on her, Turkish, before she gets bitten. And you don't want to get bitten now, do you, sweetheart?0:10No.0:10Right. Now fuck off.0:27The Death Star plans are not in the main computer. Are you taking the piss?0:31We intercepted no transmissions. This is a consular ship. We're on a diplomatic mission.0:39You're not much good to me alive, are you?0:43He's a useless shite, that boy. Punish him for me, Errol.0:51Darth Vader, only you could be so bold.0:54And who might you be, sweetheart?0:56I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan.0:59Pull your son out of my asshole. I'm going to be watching you, and I don't care where you go.1:04You can fuck off to Tibet, and I shall have men, nutters from Parkhurst dressed in Yeti suits up Everest with meat cleavers ready to chop your tarte fucking legs off.1:17I don't know what you're talking about.1:18Well, you fucking should, you soppy tart.1:21Feed up to the pigs, Errol.1:27Holding her is dangerous. Word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the rebellion in the Senate.1:32I don't care if he's Muhammad, Imad, Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.1:38She'll die before she'll tell you anything.1:40It can get you into a lot of trouble thinking, Errol. I shouldn't do so much of it.1:44Lord Vader?1:45Who the fuck's talking to you, boy?1:47No transmissions were made. An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting, but no life forms were born.1:52You're on thin fucking ice, my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks.1:59Now fuck off.2:08Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader.2:14There's a campsite full of painters who might not think you're so fucking funny.2:18Not when they're putting out the flames on their children's backs.2:21Now get up and have a fucking fight.2:23Enough of this. Vader, release him.2:26Cunt.2:28This bickering is pointless.2:30Ah. Hey.2:36I've got a bare knuckle fight in a couple of days. I want to use the pikey.2:41The final checkout is completed. All systems are operational.2:45Goodie gumdrops.2:51What have you got to tell me that's so fucking important?2:54There's no one on board, sir. According to the log, the crew abandoned ship right after takeoff.2:58Good. That takes care of one little piggy. Now find me the silly sods who blagged the bookies.3:04Find them today.3:06Get me a scanning crew in here on the double. I want every part of this ship checked.3:17Give me a fucking tour.3:20Get us a cup of tea, would you, Errol?3:24Now, I know you come back here to open your safe, so now you can open it.3:39Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We're honored by your presence.3:42And you fucking fringe. If I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not.3:47You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off.3:58He's going down in the fourth. Don't you worry about that.4:01He must not be allowed to escape.4:03Of course, fucking of course. I wasn't asking, I was telling.4:07You fucking prat.4:10Yes.4:11You fucking cunt.4:16Do you know what nemesis means?4:20A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent, personified in this case by a horrible cunt.4:32Me.4:37You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.4:46In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary, come again, you fucking prat.4:55They go through bone like butter.5:02What the fuck are you two looking at?5:07If that's not worth a bet, I don't know what is.5:10My lord, there are so many uncharted settlements. It could be smugglers, it could...5:16You're gonna have to repeat that. 48 hours. After that, it's your family, and the pigs finish what the dogs don't do.5:30Talk to me, tell me.5:32My lord, the fleet has moved out of Lightspeed. Comscan has detected an energy field protecting an area of the sixth planet of the Hoth system.5:38Good. Go and put the kettle on.5:41Yes, my lord.5:42Now you have to forgive me.5:49Lord Vader, the fleet has moved out of Lightspeed, and we're preparing to...5:54You're a ruthless little cunt, Liam, I'll give you that. But I've got no time for grasses.6:00Feed up to the pigs, Errol.6:03Thank you, Lord Liam.6:05The moon with the rebel base will be in range in...6:07You've got to shave the heads of your victims and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion.6:13You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sipping through pig shit, now do you?6:27As greedy as a pig.6:29Lord Vader, our ships have completed their scan of the area and found nothing.6:33Well, where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys, is it?6:36And it's not as if he's inconfucking spicuous now, is it?6:39Yes, my lord, we'll find them.6:41Now don't let me down.6:44You don't want to let me down, do you, boy?6:48I'll lose all command. Deploy the fleet.6:54You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece.6:58Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into 6 pieces and pile it all together.7:04Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs.7:08As you wish.7:09Lord Vader.7:10Oh, fuck me, your lady friend got a voice?7:12My lord, we have them.7:32Look me now, you fucker, won't you?7:37Lord Vader.7:39Shits himself when you put him in a ring, poke you with a stick, you watch his bullets grow.7:43Now go and put the kettle on. You take sugar.7:45No, thank you, Turkish. I'm sweet enough.7:51We count 30 rebel ships, Lord Vader, but they're so small they're evading our turbo lasers.7:55Oh, fuck me.7:56Well, come on, we got a fight to go to.8:02If you see the pikey or his girlfriend come out before me, shoot the bastards.8:25They go through bone like butter.
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