Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffStar Wars Nerds With Triumph The Insult DogDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share1.8K views Apr 2009Triumph the Insult Comic Dog interviews Star Wars fans in line for the Attack of the Clones premiere, mocking their costumes, games, and enthusiasm. Show transcript0:01It's premiere night here for Attack of the Clones, but outside the Ziegfeld Theatre is the real show, Return of the Dorks.0:10Thousands of 35-year-old men waiting days, even months, for just a taste of George Lucas's table scraps.0:20Lonely men who have never had sex, not even with a Catholic priest.0:25And here with, uh, all right, you're dressed as a, a huge nerd, yes?0:31Yes.0:32No, what, seriously, you're supposed to be0:34I'm supposed to be a Jedi.0:35You're a Jedi Knight, yes. And, uh, what are the, uh, principles of a Jedi Knight?0:42Uh,0:42Always.0:43To always defend truth and justice throughout the galaxy.0:46And to eat a lot of peanut M&Ms0:52throughout the galaxy.0:55You know what's good about this, uh, costume, folks? Take a look.0:59He has the ability, he can crap his pants and no one will know.1:04Everyone is gazing and rousing games of Star Wars Stratego. This is risk.1:11Very exciting. This game is normally played, uh, indoors by 12-year-olds.1:18This is a nice break for you. You're getting away from the drudgery of your normal mundane life spent playing Stratego at home.1:29Unbelievable. Look, among the nerds, I found an actual girl here.1:34Look at this, not, not too shabby around here, huh, honey? The male-female ratio, yeah?1:40I mean, you've got your ver- veritable pick of the litter. You can choose from all of, all kinds of guys who have no idea how to please you.1:54She said pretty much, yeah. Who's going to stand up to this challenge?1:59I will.2:03You're going to stand up to this?2:05Yeah, right, and I'm stooping Lassie. It's a big commitment, all these guys standing in line here all this time waiting for the show.2:15How do you explain this to your imaginary girlfriend?2:23Look at this one. Oh my God. You look like some kind of super nerd, you know, that was built, it looks like you were built in a laboratory out of parts from lesser nerds.2:36You look like he's a bionic nerd. Yes, I Obi wanna whack off right now.2:49I don't deal with lesser life forms.2:52You don't deal with lesser life forms? You must be a lonely guy.2:55Only guy.3:00I kid, I kid.3:11Look at you. How are you, cutie? What parent forced you to do this?3:21Right over here. Sweetie.3:23I'm, uh, Princess Twi'lek.3:28That's adorable.3:31That's really very, very cute. I'll be right over here. It's very, very cute.3:39So what's going on here? You've got a little future nerd in here?3:43Yes, yes, future nerd, future Jedi.3:45When is he due?3:46June 27th, 6 weeks.3:48Wow. That's the last time he'll ever see female genitalia.3:57Who's feeding your pet snake and/or tarantula?4:04I would be remiss if I didn't come out here and find out what you Jedi were up to.4:08I need not ask, of course, so.4:10Look at this. Look at this. It's a geek from another dimension.4:15Lord of the Rings? Lord of the Rings?4:18Come here. I am Black Wolf the Dragon Master, New York's unofficial wizard, and don't you forget it.4:26All right. And don't you forget to finish your filet of fish.4:30Oh, quiet.4:31Dragon Master.4:33Oh, quiet.4:35Burger King, where all Dragon Masters eat.4:39So you're here just to pay your respects to the Jedi?4:43Hello.4:46You are wa- you are one out- you are one uninformed hound, you know that?4:51Uh, it's called reality, my friend.4:55Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob.5:00Apparently, the nerds are looking for a Jedi to challenge the nerds from Lord of the Rings.5:07Whichever one of you wins is the Uber board.5:12You're even lucky your, your, your superiors at late night even, even decided to let you out today.5:18Seriously?5:19Yes.5:20Have you ever talked to a woman without having to give your credit card number?5:29You know what? Take this.5:33Fresh hound.5:35Quite an imagination, yes.5:37Do you think the whole plot of this movie, uh, is a little far-fetched?5:42What do you guys think?5:43Of course not, and we're not allowed to talk about spoilers here.5:47Uh, I've got some spoilers. What is a spoiler?5:51Yeah.5:51Here's a spoiler. You will die alone.5:59This is a Darth Vader impersonation from The Empire Strikes Back.6:03Keep it.6:05You have failed me for the last time, Admiral Captain Piett.6:13Yes, my lord.6:15Make ready the fleet and deploy it out so that nothing gets off the system.6:20That's perfect.6:22Thank you.6:22Exactly like it, but6:24But.6:24You're not breathing heavily?6:26No.6:27Imagine you've just run 10 feet and you're out of breath.6:33Very exciting. Darth Vader himself is here. All the other nerds tremble in his presence.6:44What a new. Presence.6:44What are meals supposed to be?
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