2.2K views Sep 2009
Auto-tuned news clips cover American electric cars, Michael Vick’s return, and New York’s plan to reduce geese near airports, with a chart and a bread offer.
0:00 This investment in advanced battery technology for elec- elect- electric drive automobile. 0:05 We're losing men out there. Permission to use the secret weapon, sir. 0:08 The Federal Commission of T-Pain approves. 0:14 Shoddy. 0:15 Shoddy. Oh. 0:18 Imagine with me for a moment. Imagine America. Imagine a world where people pop the hood on their cars and they see stamped on an electronic motor the words Made in America, Made in America, 0:33 Made in America. Imagine, imagine Made in America, Made in America. 0:40 That's what I want to imagine. God bless y'all. 0:44 Now I want to be part of the solution and not the problem. I got to start somewhere, got to crawl before I walk. 0:50 Hey! 0:50 Crawl before I walk. 0:51 Hey! 0:52 Crawl before I walk. 0:53 Good boy flies like an eagle. 0:56 Michael Vick served his time, he paid his debt to society, and now he has either earned or been given another chance. 1:05 Another chance. 1:09 Katy Kirk is off today. 1:10 But I'm still looking at a bunch of eh. 1:12 I'm Maggie Rodriguez. 1:13 Nice to meet you, let's talk about the news. 1:15 The city of New York is declaring a war on geese and some animal activists are crying, crying, crying, crying, crying foul. 1:23 Crying how? 1:24 Crying foul. 1:24 Oh. 1:25 Birds can become a featherfall if they collide with airplanes. 1:28 True. 1:28 Operation Coast Be Gone involves reducing bird population within 5 miles of the airport. 1:33 Oh, those geese are cooked, those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked. 1:37 Wildlife experts and the FAA concur. 1:40 Those geese are cooked. The Federal Commission of Me agrees. 1:43 Those geese are cooked. 1:44 Now they live in a wingin' of bread, a wingin' of bread. 1:49 How many geese? 1:50 2,000 geese. 1:51 That's a lot of geese. 1:51 Those geese are 1:52 So sad and so tasty for my helpless flying homies. 1:55 The debate continues in New York, but for now, those geese are cooked, as you can see from the chart, a mass of fire breathing death and death as a dragon. 2:05 Ho ho, I have a chart. 2:07 He has a chart. 2:08 I have a chart. 2:08 A dragon chart. 2:09 The charge is painful to the goose, painful to the goose. 2:14 Which goose? 2:14 The goose that lays a golden egg. 2:16 Your favorite goose. 2:17 The goose that lays, the goose that lays, lays a golden egg. 2:23 The goose is cold, cold, cold. 2:25 Am I wasted, or did that really transpire? So many metaphors, my brain is on fire. 2:31 Eh, eh, eh, eh. 2:33 Tell Katie cool, stop screening my calls, or else she's gonna be on very thin ice. 2:39 Very thin ice. 2:40 Very thin ice. 2:41 Very thin ice. Singing sea fan geese are on very thin ice. 2:44 Those geese are croaked, those geese are cro- cro- 2:47 Giving another kiss. 2:52 Those geese are fucked, those geese are 2:54 Made in America, made in America. Served this time. 2:58 But he's on very thin ice, very thin ice, very, very, very thin ice. 3:03 I have a chart. I have a mullet. I have a chart. 3:07 I'm offering you a piece of bread. How could you possibly refuse a man with a mullet? 3:12 Piece of bread. 3:14 Auto tune the news, auto tune the news. Michael Vick sounds better. 3:21 Auto tunes, auto tune the news, auto tune the news, everything sounds better auto tune. 
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