Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffThe Bastard Breaks Up AgainDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share1.5K views Oct 2008A cruel boyfriend insults his partner during a breakup, takes a call from his new girlfriend, then asks his ex if he left any condoms behind. Show transcript0:02Look,0:05I know this is a little sudden, but it's just not working out, you know?0:10I, we just don't have anything in common anymore. I mean, you like ballet, and I like hockey, and you like being fat and ugly, and I don't like fat and ugly people.0:26You enjoy...0:33I mean, I can do chubby, but you graduated from chubby school a little while ago.0:40Now you're attending the university of disgusting. And don't think that it has anything to do with you.0:47I mean, if anything, it's me, you know? I'm the one that absolutely despises you.0:52I'm the one that's been cheating on you for the past 2 years with random slutty girls because I'm no longer sexually attracted to you.0:59It has nothing to do with you, nothing. Actually, you, you sort of remind me of an uglier version of Kathy Bates.1:07Kathy Bates from Misery. You've never seen Misery? Don't worry about it, you'll find someone else.1:15I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of blind people out there looking for a date.1:20Well, I mean, as soon as they touch you, they'll quickly realize their mistake, but you could probably squeeze in a couple dates before that happens.1:30Misery, you know, the the crazy woman, she kidnaps the writer played by James Caan.1:36James Caan, he's the the Will Ferrell's dad in Elf. Look, I know this is hard, but if all else fails, you could always kill yourself.1:47You know, you can't feel pain when you're dead.1:51Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that, because if you do that, I'm gonna have to raise our 1-year-old son.1:58Okay, no, no, no. Live with the pain, um, raise little Joey, and uh, when he gets old enough to understand, just tell him that uh, his dad died when he was really young.2:09Uh, but make it cool. Something like, uh, I died killing terrorists or, um, uh, saving a woman from rape.2:19There's this scene in it where she puts a block of wood between his legs, and she grabs a sledgehammer, and she's like, path, and you see like his foot go.2:28It is disgusting. You know, whatever happens, I really hope that...2:35Sorry, gotta take this.2:38Hello? Mm, hey baby. Yeah, I'm good. I'm just, uh, breaking up with the old one.2:46Yeah. How's she what? How... Hold on a second.2:52Can you just keep it down a bit? Oh, how's she taking it? Oh, she's doing fine.2:58She's a big girl.3:02She is a big girl.3:06Okay, well, I have to go. Um, listen, uh, take care of yourself, and uh, you know, who knows?3:13Maybe in a couple of years, when you're 18, we'll cross paths and fall right back in love.3:20Highly unlikely, unless you lose the weight, but uh, let that be a goal for you.3:25Let that be a goal for you. Take care.3:34Oh, oh, oh, yeah, um, did I leave any condoms here? I, uh, gonna need those.
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