Tiger Woods Fucks Bitches

Oh hi there. I'm Tiger Woods. Over the past couple of days there's been a lot of speculation about me lying, me not lying and me lying about not lying. A lot of people say, 'Hey, you're the luckiest guy in the world. You're married to a model, got beautiful kids.' I guess that's enough for an average man, but I'm above average. I'm here to set the record straight. I'm Tiger Woods, and I fuck bitches. There's a lot of dudes that fuck bitches, I fuck the most. And I don't go for the high type either. Oh no, no high class here. I fuck chili waitresses. Sometimes I just go to big lots, pick up the biggest girl I can find, get her to call a dog the N-word until I come. I want a tiny midget girl, I'm going to glue horns to her head, she's going to ram me like a bull. I want the sloppiest grossest girl I can get, and I want to make her jerk off to a dog pooping on a glass table. Then I make the kid who wrote Chocolate Rain watch that, and if he gets off to it, then I can come, 'cause that's how complicated I am. I'm Tiger Woods, there's a lot of things I do and I don't do. I don't not win championships, but I do fuck bitches.