Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOff99 Problems Cookie Monster RemixDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share3K views Feb 2009Cookie Monster raps a cookie-themed parody of “99 Problems,” bragging about his cookie stash and trading lyrics with a police officer. Show transcript0:01If you have a cookie problems, I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems, but a cookie's not one.0:06I got the fuzzy roll on the pan patrol. The birds want to see my cookie jar is full.0:11Dig deep the money cookies and holes. I'm from the streets, stupid, what type of cookies I know.0:16If you fuck with me, I'll fuck your hole. Pay me soon to eat the cookie dough.0:21I'm like, fuck apples, get my blue asshole. If you want to watch Wookies, you can press passcode.0:26I got beef with beef, all I want is a cookie. You ain't got chips, I don't give a shit, ho.0:32Fruit bag shadow with my blue ass, my blood just turns it into jelly.0:37Mucker! I don't know what you take me as or understand the cookie cookie monster has.0:42I don't live in a can, bitch, I ain't dumb. I got 99 crumb, but a cookie's not one.0:5099 crumb, but a cookie ain't one. If you're having cookie crumbs, I feel bad for you, son.0:54I got 99 prom, but a cookie ain't one. Don't look in the trunk, it's a cookie I stole.1:00In the rear view mirror, his bear's on patrol. I got 2 choices, pull over this tree or bounce on the scoot, twist the pedal to the floor.1:08I ain't giants, you know how I chase with this. Plus, I got a few cookies, I can fight the case.1:12So I pull over to the side of the road. I heard.1:15Long do you know when I'm dropping your phone.1:17Because I'm furry and I'm blue, taste gum on your shoe, so many cookies in the back, don't know what to do.1:23Am I under arrest, or I guess I'm old?1:25But you were 2 and 5 and you're 54. Hand me your cookie license and put your hands in the car.1:30Are you carrying cookies? I don't know, a lot of you are.1:33I ain't giving you shit, this cookie's legit.1:35Or do you mind if I eat the very last bit?1:38Om nom nom nom, what you think of that? To get me off this good, you need a cookie for that.1:43I'll do a job from time. You're some type of monster or something, a cookie shop or something.1:48Nah, I ain't called narc when I know a little bit. Enough for people to say that my cookies are shit.1:53We'll see how smart you are having big break now.1:56I got 99 problems, but a cookie's not one. Feed me!2:0199 problems, but a cookie's not one. If you're having cookie problems, I feel bad for you, son.2:06I got 99 brown butter cookie, not one. It is...2:12Snack attack! Num num num num num.
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