2.1K views Aug 2009
Conan O'Brien tours FAO Schwarz, jokes about the toys and staff, tries a twisting skateboard, and rides a $300,000 motion simulator in this holiday segment.
0:00 Christmas is almost here, and man, the city is packed with holiday shoppers. 0:04 Am I right about this, folks? You go outside, just half these people. 0:08 These people are here just to shop mostly at the NBC store, and uh, no, they're everyone's shopping in Manhattan right now, and uh, everyone's going to all the stores here in Midtown. 0:18 And folks, no store says Christmas shopping quite like the famous toy store, FAO Schwarz. 0:24 That's right. It's very famous. It's the toy store probably in the city. 0:27 I thought I'd uh, I decided to go and visit this legendary toy store. 0:31 I wanted to go. I wanted to visit, and I thought, why should I go alone? 0:35 Why not bring a camera crew with me? Oh, there's an idea. I like people acting like that's a surprise. 0:43 I have a TV show, you know. He brought a camera crew with him. 0:48 That guy's crazy. Anyway, I, I brought a, a crew with me at FAO Schwarz, and I thought I'd check it out, and here's what happened. 1:03 Here we are at FAO Schwartz. You can see behind me wonderful array of some of the toys they have here. 1:09 Animals from all over the animal kingdom, murdered, stuffed, and then made to look like stuffed animals. 1:15 The orangutan, in his desperation to escape with these stolen pianos, is running over these rare Black Panthers. 1:23 This is nice. So this is for someone who wants to be gay but doesn't want to go to all the trouble every day of looking after a gay doll. 1:30 Yeah. What's this? 1:31 It's called Pixel Blocks. 1:32 Pixel Blocks. 1:33 It kind of combines a little bit of Lite-Brite and Lego. 1:35 Take a look at this right here. I was up all night working on this. 1:38 That is, that's beautiful. A very, very nice likeness of you as well. 1:41 Oh no, that's not me. 1:42 That's not you? 1:43 No, this is Rue McClanahan from The Golden Girls. 1:45 Oh, these are called carpet skates, and they allow you to skate on any carpeted surface. 1:49 Well, it's an incredible invention. 1:51 Yep, thank you very much. Don't thank me, though, so. 1:54 Well, I was being sarcastic. 2:08 It's a nice uniform. Do you ever walk around in this uniform when you're off duty, try and get the ladies? 2:12 Uh, yeah. 2:13 I bet they like this uniform. 2:15 Yeah, they laugh. 2:17 They laugh? That's not good. You don't want them to laugh. Maybe it's the chin strap. 2:22 You keep order here, pretty much? 2:24 Yeah. 2:25 I'm proud of you guys. 2:26 Thank you. 2:27 If it weren't for people like you, kids could come into a toy store and touch whatever they wanted. 2:34 See these people out here? They're hanging out at the, uh, morning show, CBS. 2:39 They think I'm Clay Aiken. 2:44 I've been this depressed. 2:47 Hi. Hi, I can't come out. 2:53 Look at the rack on this orangutan right here. 2:57 A lot of, uh, 15-year-old boys buy this item, but not for the reasons their parents think. 3:03 You know what I'm saying? 3:05 They take Coco upstairs here. 3:09 I'm sorry. 3:12 That's just wrong. I'd like 6 of these, please. Can I get 6 of these? 3:17 Don't bother to wrap this one up. 3:20 Take a little carriage ride with Coco here. Twice around the park, Bertram. 3:24 Waka waka, you know what I'm saying? What's going on here? What is this? 3:28 This is the brand new style of skateboard. It combine- combines, uh, surfing, snowboarding, and skateboarding into one extreme sport. 3:33 So it combines 3 things I can't do into one incredible toy I have no use for. 3:39 All right, now I want you to start twisting that board back and forth. 3:41 Okay. All right, and I'm gonna hold this arm. You don't have to hold on to my shoulders. 3:44 Does it look less cool when you're holding on to me? 3:45 A little less. 3:46 Why are we headed towards an escalator? This is a bad idea. 4:05 Oh, these are all microphones. 4:07 This is the flu right here. 4:09 I killed millions in 1918. 4:12 Fluey. 4:13 Sorry, everybody. 4:16 I love you, Flooy. Now I've got the flu. 4:20 A lot of, uh, expensive dolls here. There's Lucha Bella, there's Now and Forever, there's Beyond Envy. 4:26 Uh, I like this one right here. She's called Incredible Bitch. 4:29 I've already been married 3 times. She's 24 years old. Man, what an ice queen. 4:35 Just try talking to her. Just try. I dare you. Here we have a nice mommy doll and a nice daughter with no friends doll. 4:44 No one will speak to her at the cafeteria, and she's starting to cut herself. 4:49 The Conan O'Brien doll is handcrafted, beautifully detailed. 4:55 It captures my shattered elbow right here on the right side. 4:59 Oh, look at this. Miniature Hummer. 5:07 If you want your child to become an immediately, I would say this is the way to do it. 5:12 This is probably one of the most expensive items in the store, is that right? 5:15 Yep, it's 300,000 dollars. 5:16 What is it? 5:17 It's a 3D motion simulator. Uh, when you get into the capsule, there's a flat screen monitor, and uh, whatever's on the screen simulates in the ride. 5:25 Has anyone ever joined the Mile High Club in here, if you know what I'm saying? 5:29 Tell me about that. 5:30 Let me tell you something, if the simulator's rocking, don't bother knocking. 5:35 Here we go. 5:40 Please keep your hands and feet away from 5:42 No. 5:42 You're about to experience 5:43 No. 5:44 a simulation ride. 5:48 Please pay attention to the following safety. 5:51 Uh oh, here we go. Whoa! 5:56 It seems to be some kind of mining operation. I guess in the future, 6:01 redneck jukebox music is really popular. 6:21 Well, we had a great time at FAO Schwartz. Promises to be an amazing holiday season. 6:26 Plus, I made a friend. Uh, once more around the park, Bertram. 6:39 Good time. Thanks, FAO Schwartz. Uh, we'll take a little break. 6:44 Breaks around the man. Luke Wilson's here. Stick around. 
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